On Superbowl Sunday we had a huge snowstorm. It was beautiful - that frosting kind of snow, but the rain the evening before coupled with a drastic drop in temperature caused one of our two trees out front to basically burst. Like a pipe. Which was weird. And really sad. And caused our whole house to look different. And a whole lot less private.
Then, a few weeks ago, our backyard neighbor cut his trees down, the ones that shaded a good portion of our backyard.
The guys we hired did a great job cleaning up the front, except that 1/4 of the branches and tiny stuff was frozen to the ground for about a month. The backyard guy, well, they did ok. They did leave us a bunch of firewood, which was very nice. I'm tired to death of raking small bits of wood though. I'll be curious to see how the first mow goes. We did rent a chipper to handle everything that was left. We were pretty excited, but it was short lived. That was a giant pain in the butt. I don't know if it was because a lot of it was evergreen or if it's always a giant pain.
So, basically we have a whole new yard. I don't think any of us are really thrilled with the changes, but they were so out of our control, so what can you do? So, instead of moaning I'm making plans.
This summer we'll have a crawler, a 5 year old and 8 year old and I want to focus on some areas for the range. Rather than putting in a play structure, which we've hemmed and hawed about, I'd rather install a few things that would be usable for a few years for everyone.
A small, permanent balance beam
A pull up/hanging/upside down bar
A digging area and a couple small raised beds for the kids. Especially for that one kid that likes to dig all the holes. We have the raised beds for them, but no fill dirt just yet.
The biggest thing I'd like to add to our collection, both for the backyard and for park play dates is a slackline. They've come down in price quite a bit the past couple years and I know it would be a hit for the kids - and I'd really like to try it too!
Obviously I'm hoping for some serious playtime outside for the kids - - so I can be outside too!!
Showing posts with label mama rambles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mama rambles. Show all posts
April 10, 2015
April 9, 2015
a little off
Things have been a little off this week at our house.
Probably because I committed to blogging every day for a month. The universe laughs and pulls an ace card out of her sleeve.
Monday was the usual day after a holiday scenario with the housework and sugar buzz and I thought that was all. Tuesday we had to hit restart at 9:00, at 11:00, and again at 1:30 until I finally resigned myself to the fact that the big kids and I were like pinballs ricocheting off each other and that it would likely stay that way for the day. Wednesday was co-op and playtime with friends. Both Guthrie and Laithe cried multiple times throughout the day - at very odd times. And today has been non-stop bickering all. dang. day. The weird thing is that Juniper has been off too. But, I suspect that has a lot to do with finally figuring out how to crawl. Which is exhausting. For everyone.
I suspect the weather has a bit to do with it. Not only our first week of spring storms, but we're (happily) shifting to more outside time and less inside time. Every time we make this major transition it's like we forget how to do it. There's that, ok I want to be outside and playing but what exactly am I supposed to do out here.
This would be a pain to deal with no matter what, but then there's the ok, where does school fit in here? And the inevitable flash of - crap! we can't take any more days "off" or we'll never get to have a summer break!
Every time though, once I'm done being annoyed that we're having one of those weeks, if I can find the wherewithal to shift gears and focus on the stuff that fills my kids up emotionally and steadies them then we can get back to the usual. And it's always a good reminder that we all need a day or two sometimes to steady ourselves.
Those basics are:
- free art
- sensory focused projects (cornmeal trays, clay, beans in a box. every time i think guthrie will outgrow that stuff i remember that i like playing in it too!)
- reading aloud chapter books
- structured free time
- and no screens (not everyone has the same experience as I do, but I find that when my kids are in the above mood screens mean an increase in fighting and a decrease in kindness. so, i cut them off completely)
I'm constantly grateful that I found so many resources about creating a steady home rhythm when my kids were tiny. I'm glad I listened to the voice that told me this is what my family needs. What I need too!
This afternoon is going loads better after a morning of the above stuff. Tonight is family art night so I'm crossing my fingers we only get a few tears!
Probably because I committed to blogging every day for a month. The universe laughs and pulls an ace card out of her sleeve.
Monday was the usual day after a holiday scenario with the housework and sugar buzz and I thought that was all. Tuesday we had to hit restart at 9:00, at 11:00, and again at 1:30 until I finally resigned myself to the fact that the big kids and I were like pinballs ricocheting off each other and that it would likely stay that way for the day. Wednesday was co-op and playtime with friends. Both Guthrie and Laithe cried multiple times throughout the day - at very odd times. And today has been non-stop bickering all. dang. day. The weird thing is that Juniper has been off too. But, I suspect that has a lot to do with finally figuring out how to crawl. Which is exhausting. For everyone.
I suspect the weather has a bit to do with it. Not only our first week of spring storms, but we're (happily) shifting to more outside time and less inside time. Every time we make this major transition it's like we forget how to do it. There's that, ok I want to be outside and playing but what exactly am I supposed to do out here.
This would be a pain to deal with no matter what, but then there's the ok, where does school fit in here? And the inevitable flash of - crap! we can't take any more days "off" or we'll never get to have a summer break!
Every time though, once I'm done being annoyed that we're having one of those weeks, if I can find the wherewithal to shift gears and focus on the stuff that fills my kids up emotionally and steadies them then we can get back to the usual. And it's always a good reminder that we all need a day or two sometimes to steady ourselves.
Those basics are:
- free art
- sensory focused projects (cornmeal trays, clay, beans in a box. every time i think guthrie will outgrow that stuff i remember that i like playing in it too!)
- reading aloud chapter books
- structured free time
- and no screens (not everyone has the same experience as I do, but I find that when my kids are in the above mood screens mean an increase in fighting and a decrease in kindness. so, i cut them off completely)
I'm constantly grateful that I found so many resources about creating a steady home rhythm when my kids were tiny. I'm glad I listened to the voice that told me this is what my family needs. What I need too!
This afternoon is going loads better after a morning of the above stuff. Tonight is family art night so I'm crossing my fingers we only get a few tears!
April 4, 2015
sharing
We've not had a baby and a dog before. Tegra kind of drives me nuts, but she is so good with the kids. We lucked out I think.
Also, sorry I didn't clean my lens first!
April 3, 2015
memory
Guthrie and I were playing a hand game tonight - she instigated it as she always does.
It's that one where you and your opponent stack your hands on top of each others and then the hand on the bottom comes up to the top. I know you've played it. She loves it, but it's not often that she doesn't get a little misty eyed during the play.
Her great grandma Rose (my grandma) taught it to her when she was 3 years old. She has a pretty vivid, and accurate, memory of that day. So do I, both because it was the when Grandma and Grandpa met newly born Laithe and because it was the last time we were able to see her before she passed away.
I have noticed that John and I talk often of our extended family to the kids. Just little snippets usually and I don't think it's really something we do intentionally, but I love it. Frequently it's about people we have strong memories of but the kids don't either because of distance or age. My hope is that they will have these threads of stories as they grow and be able laugh as they're loading the dishwasher about how Grandpa Bill and Grandma Masil put dish soap in their brand new dishwasher because they didn't have dishwasher detergent and they certainly weren't going to town to get some! Or how Mamaw drove John to the midnight showing of Star Wars when he was young. I haven't shared the one about Grandma Vera & the snakes in the toilet on the farm just yet. I feel like I'd have to accompany them to the bathroom for the next 10 years!
Guthrie is going through that all important period of realizing she is separate from us. That though she's a member of our family, she as a person is not the same as me as a person. I have to be honest, it's been a rough one - both to witness and experience. Our little empath. Feeling everything so very strongly. Unconditional love has been the phrase of the year.
One of my hopes is that these stories will give her a firm net as she takes these leaps into personhood. A solid, generations-old place to land where she firmly belongs and cannot easily slip through. I feel like this is a gift we can give our children - knowing where and from whom they come. It's also a gift John and I give to ourselves though too. Sometimes it is pretty nice to remember that we're not the first parents on this journey!
It's that one where you and your opponent stack your hands on top of each others and then the hand on the bottom comes up to the top. I know you've played it. She loves it, but it's not often that she doesn't get a little misty eyed during the play.
Her great grandma Rose (my grandma) taught it to her when she was 3 years old. She has a pretty vivid, and accurate, memory of that day. So do I, both because it was the when Grandma and Grandpa met newly born Laithe and because it was the last time we were able to see her before she passed away.
I have noticed that John and I talk often of our extended family to the kids. Just little snippets usually and I don't think it's really something we do intentionally, but I love it. Frequently it's about people we have strong memories of but the kids don't either because of distance or age. My hope is that they will have these threads of stories as they grow and be able laugh as they're loading the dishwasher about how Grandpa Bill and Grandma Masil put dish soap in their brand new dishwasher because they didn't have dishwasher detergent and they certainly weren't going to town to get some! Or how Mamaw drove John to the midnight showing of Star Wars when he was young. I haven't shared the one about Grandma Vera & the snakes in the toilet on the farm just yet. I feel like I'd have to accompany them to the bathroom for the next 10 years!
Guthrie is going through that all important period of realizing she is separate from us. That though she's a member of our family, she as a person is not the same as me as a person. I have to be honest, it's been a rough one - both to witness and experience. Our little empath. Feeling everything so very strongly. Unconditional love has been the phrase of the year.
One of my hopes is that these stories will give her a firm net as she takes these leaps into personhood. A solid, generations-old place to land where she firmly belongs and cannot easily slip through. I feel like this is a gift we can give our children - knowing where and from whom they come. It's also a gift John and I give to ourselves though too. Sometimes it is pretty nice to remember that we're not the first parents on this journey!
April 2, 2015
april challenge
I really, really want to get back into writing here, but I'm struggling to find both the time and inspiration. Which is funny because I have three little amazing inspirations that I spend my days with! But, you know how it goes.
So! I'm going to do a 30 day challenge using writing prompts I found. We shall see how it goes. I have middling hopes :)
Making it easy for the first day (which is actually the 2nd day because wednesdays are SO busy) --
5 favorites . . .
5 things i dislike . . .
5 things that make me cry (happy cry, but sometimes ugly cry) . . .
5 things things i don't really know what to do with. . .
So! I'm going to do a 30 day challenge using writing prompts I found. We shall see how it goes. I have middling hopes :)
Making it easy for the first day (which is actually the 2nd day because wednesdays are SO busy) --
5 favorites . . .
- weather. all kinds of weather -- just as long as it changes!
- sourdough toast. real west coast sourdough. not this midwest crap. you need an ocean for the kind of wild yeast i like. apparently.
- pulling weeds - a manageable amount of weeds at least.
- those first few minutes in the morning when I'm the only one awake
- coffee & the act of making coffee
5 things i dislike . . .
- cleaning out bowls i've made bread in. dough on a sponge is the grossest.
- really loud movies in the movie theater.
- injera. which is Ethiopian bread. which is something i feel pretty badly about.
- cauliflower. i just can't.
- being constantly interrupted. it's just part of my life right now, but it is really a struggle.
5 things that make me cry (happy cry, but sometimes ugly cry) . . .
- flash mobs - especially this one. i kind of can't watch it anymore, i get that emotional.
- kids totally absorbed in their play
- drums. native american drumming, drum lines, when I was in college my mom and I saw Bring in 'da Noise, Bring in 'da Funk with Savion Glover and that kind of solidified it for me. drum circles -- no way. so. much. anxiety.
- people talking about what they're passionate about. Ted Talks all the way.
- all the commercials about family coming together during the holiday season. i know. so cliche, but totally honest!
5 things things i don't really know what to do with. . .
- my 5 year old's defined 6 pack. It certainly has something to do with his build and that he lives on yogurt, green smoothies and cracker, but it's weird to see all the same.
- bedtime. this was almost on my dislike list, but there are so many sweet things about it. and in 10 years I'll look back with fondness, but realistically there are maybe 2 nights a week that don't involve me hitting my limit about halfway through. it always ends up ok, but man those few minutes post-teethbrushing pre-settled in, they are a doozy.
- the amount of unseen work i do. i know it's the plight (or whatever) of the stay at home & homeschooling parent but holy heck people.
- guthrie asking me if she could go shopping with me this year on black friday. "but honey black friday is in November and it's only April." "No mom, my friend said this friday was black friday." "um, do you possibly mean Good Friday? Because that's a whole different kind of holiday. And we don't shop that day." awkward.
- me time. i recognize the importance of having time to do the things I love, but it throws me off. if I get an afternoon sans children I find myself incredibly impatient leading up to the moment they leave and then pretty crabby during the evening after they come home. what is that? it's frustrating. so do i not have enough "me time" or too much or what? and this me time phenomenon that's so pervasive in my generation, it kind of drives me nuts.
See you tomorrow!
September 5, 2014
enough
My almost 8 year old daughter has a new word in her vocabulary: lazy.
And she's flung it about a couple of times in my general direction.
The first time it happened I was getting her and Laithe ready for bed. Bedtime almost always involves putting away the clean laundry that mom has washed and folded and sometimes sorted and neatly stacked on the end of your bed. The kids hate it. I don't really care. It gets done. This time though I'd sorted Laithe's clothes into 3 piles, shirts, pants, pjs, and left Guthrie's in one big stack. Because if left unattended Laithe will shove all his clothes into the top drawer and eventually the dresser will fall on him when he goes to get dressed. It's a small dresser, it causes no damage and I'm fairly certain it will still happen in college.
Laithe finished putting his clothes away and I was sitting on his bed with him nursing Juniper getting ready to start our nightly chapter book. Guthrie says, "why do you sort his clothes and not mine?" "Well, you're 7 and can be trusted to put your clothes away correctly, but Laithe is 4 and he still has a hard time."
She puts a few more things away and turns away from me and I hear ever so slightly not under her breath "You are SO lazy!"
"Guthrie!"
She turns around, turns beet red and covers her face with her hands. Apology, reprimand and hugs, etc etc. And I laughingly told several people about it because 1. it was so out of character and 2. it's hilarious because, well it just was really really funny - I'd washed, folded, and stacked the clothes on her bed, I was multi-tasking nursing a baby, reading a freaking chapter book to my kids before bed. If that's not overachieving I don't know what is.
The next week we're at my mom's and the kids want us to play in her backyard with them. I wasn't up for it. Again with the "you guys are so lazy" but this time it was not under her breath and this time it was not one bit funny because, well, grandparent. Again with the reprimand and apology and eventual hugs. The end and hasn't been repeated.
Except it's stayed with me.
You are SO lazy!
Not that she said it, but that it's an echo of that inner voice I try so hard to squash.
The one that reminds me that I went to bed again with dishes in the sink, or didn't answer that text or email, or didn't pack my husband's lunch, or let the kids watch another show just so I could sit for a minute, or whatever. She says I'm not doing Enough.
Which, to be blunt, is just fucking ridiculous.
Seriously.
That voice, she is such an asshole! And she only gets particularly loud when I'm feeling overwhelmed -- which first week of homeschooling for the year, 8 week old baby, life in general, any one of those things could make a person feel overwhelmed. I'm well aware that I'm at the stage in life where things will get dropped, frequently, and as long as one of those things is not the baby then #winning.
I think one of the reasons I'm so annoyed by all of this is because I thought I was over this. I thought I had given that voice the boot -- or at least duct taped her mouth shut for the next 5 years. Because I truly believe that the greatest thing we can all do is just show up. Anything else is gravy.
So, here's to Showing Up and knowing it's Enough. Every time.
And she's flung it about a couple of times in my general direction.
The first time it happened I was getting her and Laithe ready for bed. Bedtime almost always involves putting away the clean laundry that mom has washed and folded and sometimes sorted and neatly stacked on the end of your bed. The kids hate it. I don't really care. It gets done. This time though I'd sorted Laithe's clothes into 3 piles, shirts, pants, pjs, and left Guthrie's in one big stack. Because if left unattended Laithe will shove all his clothes into the top drawer and eventually the dresser will fall on him when he goes to get dressed. It's a small dresser, it causes no damage and I'm fairly certain it will still happen in college.
Laithe finished putting his clothes away and I was sitting on his bed with him nursing Juniper getting ready to start our nightly chapter book. Guthrie says, "why do you sort his clothes and not mine?" "Well, you're 7 and can be trusted to put your clothes away correctly, but Laithe is 4 and he still has a hard time."
She puts a few more things away and turns away from me and I hear ever so slightly not under her breath "You are SO lazy!"
"Guthrie!"
She turns around, turns beet red and covers her face with her hands. Apology, reprimand and hugs, etc etc. And I laughingly told several people about it because 1. it was so out of character and 2. it's hilarious because, well it just was really really funny - I'd washed, folded, and stacked the clothes on her bed, I was multi-tasking nursing a baby, reading a freaking chapter book to my kids before bed. If that's not overachieving I don't know what is.
The next week we're at my mom's and the kids want us to play in her backyard with them. I wasn't up for it. Again with the "you guys are so lazy" but this time it was not under her breath and this time it was not one bit funny because, well, grandparent. Again with the reprimand and apology and eventual hugs. The end and hasn't been repeated.
Except it's stayed with me.
You are SO lazy!
Not that she said it, but that it's an echo of that inner voice I try so hard to squash.
The one that reminds me that I went to bed again with dishes in the sink, or didn't answer that text or email, or didn't pack my husband's lunch, or let the kids watch another show just so I could sit for a minute, or whatever. She says I'm not doing Enough.
Which, to be blunt, is just fucking ridiculous.
Seriously.
That voice, she is such an asshole! And she only gets particularly loud when I'm feeling overwhelmed -- which first week of homeschooling for the year, 8 week old baby, life in general, any one of those things could make a person feel overwhelmed. I'm well aware that I'm at the stage in life where things will get dropped, frequently, and as long as one of those things is not the baby then #winning.
I think one of the reasons I'm so annoyed by all of this is because I thought I was over this. I thought I had given that voice the boot -- or at least duct taped her mouth shut for the next 5 years. Because I truly believe that the greatest thing we can all do is just show up. Anything else is gravy.
So, here's to Showing Up and knowing it's Enough. Every time.
June 25, 2014
the state of things
We have been busy, busy, busy these past several weeks. And everyone knows how I feel about busy. More than 1-2 things to do outside our home in a day? Not up for it. I'm just not that girl - at least at this stage in my life. And I haven't been for several years, so maybe it's just a personality trait. Several days of 3-4 outside things to do and I can get pretty crabby. Even if it is all fun, chosen, and welcome stuff. So, coming off several weeks of this, I'm attempting to gain some footing and quiet(ish) before this next big transition, which could be in a couple days or a few weeks. My second favorite thing besides busy is transition. Even when it is welcome and so exciting!
We've had a lot of conversations at home about how everyone needs different things during times of transition. How we can go from needing lots of space to needing lots of hugs in the span of a few minutes. How we can be super cheerful and then uhh, not, also in the span of a few minutes. And that all of it's normal and we can choose to be extra patient and kind to each other.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
It's possible it depends on the humidity.
Which has been quite high these past couple weeks.
I'm hoping to post shortly about our home improvement projects, but I want to upload some photos too and that's not happening tonight.
Know that we've been crazy in that department though. At least crazy for someone in her third trimester and the need to do All The Things before the baby comes. Not so much out of nesting, but because I know how the year or two after a new baby is. I know that we won't have the wherewithal to get stuff done, especially gracefully.
We also spent the month of May participating in a newly formed homeschool coop. This fall we'll do it again for a longer session. Guthrie loved it, Laithe not so much, but he'll come around.
We finished up school for the year the week after Memorial Day knowing that the kids will have a very long summer break this year and that we're all just fine with that. Though I am already excited for what 2nd grade and 2nd year of preschool will hold for us. Guthrie met all the goals her and I had set and we're really proud of her. Both kids are exactly where I expect them to be at 7 and 4 years old. That's a really good feeling.
The last weekend in May we took a couple days out of town, the 4 of us, for a last little trip just us. We learned, again, that our family thrives with unstructured time largely void of other people. Meaning, the most successful part of the trip was our night at a cabin with no one else around where the kids got to be really independent and all of us got to read, play catch, hike a bit and be in our own space together away from home. The rest of the trip was good too, just maybe with more whining and tears and parental frustration.
Guthrie spent the entire month of June (tomorrow is her last day) in swimming lessons at the pool down the street. She is so thrilled about it this year that I know next week will be kind of a let down. She passed levels 2 and 3 with flying colors and while she is technically ready for level 4 I think it's good that she's done for the summer as level 4 is all about the deep end and diving board and she's still a little fearful. This afternoon she said, "but mom I think if I jump off the diving board I'll drown." If I've learned anything this year in parenting her it's to be supportive and encouraging and to back off. (see bike riding: so frustrating last summer, learned in 10 minutes this year with no parents present, among other examples. i.e. reading) So, I'm good with fostering her excitement for swimming and letting her gain confidence before she decides she's ready to tackle that.
Laithe and I spent the entire month of June (from 10-11 am) hunting shade, avoiding sudden downpours, eating snacks, reading books, hunting roly polys and waiting for Guthrie to be done. Surrounded by super weird parents & nannies. Seriously. So weird. It was a good time for us though as we don't often get much just the two of us. Even if 10 - 11 is the longest hour of our lives.
We've filled the rest of our time catching fireflies, tending the garden, making weekly prenatal visits an hour away (so over that), celebrating father's day, my birthday (where i advanced to a higher level of advanced maternal age, I could write several posts dedicated to that phrase and how often it's been said to me over the past 9 months) and trying to savor these every day moments that seem fleeting when you know everything is about to change. I've no doubt that our family is ready for a new member and that Baby Poke Poke (the kids' name for baby) will be the perfect addition. I've also no doubt that Baby Poke Poke will shake things up!
And me? I'm 38 weeks pregnant and am finally feeling well enough to enjoy this pregnancy. Once I hit 7 months or so things immediately got easier physically. Looking back I don't know if I was just sick over and over for 7 months or if my immune system was so out of whack from this pregnancy or what. It was difficult (understatement) and I am still a little sad about that. But late pregnancy? I'm good. Even if I can barely use the kitchen anymore because it's like my arms have shrunk and I cannot control the waddling. But, both baby and I are healthy and thriving and that's really almost more than anyone can ask for.
Happy Summering!
We've had a lot of conversations at home about how everyone needs different things during times of transition. How we can go from needing lots of space to needing lots of hugs in the span of a few minutes. How we can be super cheerful and then uhh, not, also in the span of a few minutes. And that all of it's normal and we can choose to be extra patient and kind to each other.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
It's possible it depends on the humidity.
Which has been quite high these past couple weeks.
I'm hoping to post shortly about our home improvement projects, but I want to upload some photos too and that's not happening tonight.
Know that we've been crazy in that department though. At least crazy for someone in her third trimester and the need to do All The Things before the baby comes. Not so much out of nesting, but because I know how the year or two after a new baby is. I know that we won't have the wherewithal to get stuff done, especially gracefully.
We also spent the month of May participating in a newly formed homeschool coop. This fall we'll do it again for a longer session. Guthrie loved it, Laithe not so much, but he'll come around.
We finished up school for the year the week after Memorial Day knowing that the kids will have a very long summer break this year and that we're all just fine with that. Though I am already excited for what 2nd grade and 2nd year of preschool will hold for us. Guthrie met all the goals her and I had set and we're really proud of her. Both kids are exactly where I expect them to be at 7 and 4 years old. That's a really good feeling.
The last weekend in May we took a couple days out of town, the 4 of us, for a last little trip just us. We learned, again, that our family thrives with unstructured time largely void of other people. Meaning, the most successful part of the trip was our night at a cabin with no one else around where the kids got to be really independent and all of us got to read, play catch, hike a bit and be in our own space together away from home. The rest of the trip was good too, just maybe with more whining and tears and parental frustration.
Guthrie spent the entire month of June (tomorrow is her last day) in swimming lessons at the pool down the street. She is so thrilled about it this year that I know next week will be kind of a let down. She passed levels 2 and 3 with flying colors and while she is technically ready for level 4 I think it's good that she's done for the summer as level 4 is all about the deep end and diving board and she's still a little fearful. This afternoon she said, "but mom I think if I jump off the diving board I'll drown." If I've learned anything this year in parenting her it's to be supportive and encouraging and to back off. (see bike riding: so frustrating last summer, learned in 10 minutes this year with no parents present, among other examples. i.e. reading) So, I'm good with fostering her excitement for swimming and letting her gain confidence before she decides she's ready to tackle that.
Laithe and I spent the entire month of June (from 10-11 am) hunting shade, avoiding sudden downpours, eating snacks, reading books, hunting roly polys and waiting for Guthrie to be done. Surrounded by super weird parents & nannies. Seriously. So weird. It was a good time for us though as we don't often get much just the two of us. Even if 10 - 11 is the longest hour of our lives.
We've filled the rest of our time catching fireflies, tending the garden, making weekly prenatal visits an hour away (so over that), celebrating father's day, my birthday (where i advanced to a higher level of advanced maternal age, I could write several posts dedicated to that phrase and how often it's been said to me over the past 9 months) and trying to savor these every day moments that seem fleeting when you know everything is about to change. I've no doubt that our family is ready for a new member and that Baby Poke Poke (the kids' name for baby) will be the perfect addition. I've also no doubt that Baby Poke Poke will shake things up!
And me? I'm 38 weeks pregnant and am finally feeling well enough to enjoy this pregnancy. Once I hit 7 months or so things immediately got easier physically. Looking back I don't know if I was just sick over and over for 7 months or if my immune system was so out of whack from this pregnancy or what. It was difficult (understatement) and I am still a little sad about that. But late pregnancy? I'm good. Even if I can barely use the kitchen anymore because it's like my arms have shrunk and I cannot control the waddling. But, both baby and I are healthy and thriving and that's really almost more than anyone can ask for.
Happy Summering!
March 25, 2014
this week
I shouldn't be surprised it's been a month since I've been here, but I am. I think just because time is moving at lightning fast speed these days. This week I am:
hoping ::: that each snowfall is our last snowfall. we had a May snow a few years ago and I am hoping against hope that that doesn't repeat this year. maybe last night's skiff will be IT!
enjoying ::: baby kicks - especially ones that you can feel and see from the outside. I think both kids have felt it, but I'm not sure about Guthrie. she's really excited to feel it so every time i breathe she thinks it's the baby.
attempting ::: to delay my urgent nesting desires. or at least settle down the urgency of them. it's really hard though. floors, walls, not the kind of nesting i can easily tackle on my own. and sorting kids' clothes for consignment is just not as satisfying.
reading ::: The Cuckoo's Calling. not my usual, but i'm enjoying it. it's the book J.K. Rowling wrote under a pen name, but it's so obviously her. when we get ready to talk about adjectives in grammar i will print out a selection because there is an asinine amount in each sentence. that said, it's keeping my attention for the 5 minutes i read before i pass out of my kindle.
trying ::: not to wish away my days. we have a lot of fun things planned in the next few months - and not just the baby! - and it's always hard for me not to just count down. to be present for the right now.
appreciating ::: our current schedule - and that our lifestyle allows it. guthrie is going through a major growth spurt (she's already almost to my shoulder so...) and has been sleeping rather late. this is the 3rd morning in a row she's not been up before 9:00. it's obvious her body needs it and i'm just glad we have the schedule that allows it. we all know how unpleasant it can be to have a kid going to through a growth spurt who isn't getting enough to eat or sleep. very unpleasant.
laughing ::: due to the super late sleep yesterday i chose to forgo our usual monday - thursday school schedule in favor of a tuesday - friday one. which worked well until we did a bunch of math at the dinner table. i know, it happens to everyone, but i wear my mama hat all the time, but i notice more and more that i'm pulling on my teacher hat more frequently than i used to. not like it's a problem, but sometimes it's hard to switch gears!
attempting ::: to get back to my old early morning routine of walking the dog and having a few moments of quiet before the maelstrom. it's been difficult though when i'm so wakeful at night, or just not sleeping. i usually don't even remember turning off my alarm. it's a tough choice - forgo the extra half hour (or hour!) sleep that my body so clearly needs in this season or forgo the opportunity for a half hour of self care that helps our days to go more smoothly.
ready ::: to get going on my day. everyone is awake, i've had a couple cups of coffee and we've got some more column math to introduce & tackle. luckily it's someone's favorite subject!
happy tuesday!
hoping ::: that each snowfall is our last snowfall. we had a May snow a few years ago and I am hoping against hope that that doesn't repeat this year. maybe last night's skiff will be IT!
enjoying ::: baby kicks - especially ones that you can feel and see from the outside. I think both kids have felt it, but I'm not sure about Guthrie. she's really excited to feel it so every time i breathe she thinks it's the baby.
attempting ::: to delay my urgent nesting desires. or at least settle down the urgency of them. it's really hard though. floors, walls, not the kind of nesting i can easily tackle on my own. and sorting kids' clothes for consignment is just not as satisfying.
reading ::: The Cuckoo's Calling. not my usual, but i'm enjoying it. it's the book J.K. Rowling wrote under a pen name, but it's so obviously her. when we get ready to talk about adjectives in grammar i will print out a selection because there is an asinine amount in each sentence. that said, it's keeping my attention for the 5 minutes i read before i pass out of my kindle.
trying ::: not to wish away my days. we have a lot of fun things planned in the next few months - and not just the baby! - and it's always hard for me not to just count down. to be present for the right now.
appreciating ::: our current schedule - and that our lifestyle allows it. guthrie is going through a major growth spurt (she's already almost to my shoulder so...) and has been sleeping rather late. this is the 3rd morning in a row she's not been up before 9:00. it's obvious her body needs it and i'm just glad we have the schedule that allows it. we all know how unpleasant it can be to have a kid going to through a growth spurt who isn't getting enough to eat or sleep. very unpleasant.
laughing ::: due to the super late sleep yesterday i chose to forgo our usual monday - thursday school schedule in favor of a tuesday - friday one. which worked well until we did a bunch of math at the dinner table. i know, it happens to everyone, but i wear my mama hat all the time, but i notice more and more that i'm pulling on my teacher hat more frequently than i used to. not like it's a problem, but sometimes it's hard to switch gears!
attempting ::: to get back to my old early morning routine of walking the dog and having a few moments of quiet before the maelstrom. it's been difficult though when i'm so wakeful at night, or just not sleeping. i usually don't even remember turning off my alarm. it's a tough choice - forgo the extra half hour (or hour!) sleep that my body so clearly needs in this season or forgo the opportunity for a half hour of self care that helps our days to go more smoothly.
ready ::: to get going on my day. everyone is awake, i've had a couple cups of coffee and we've got some more column math to introduce & tackle. luckily it's someone's favorite subject!
happy tuesday!
February 9, 2014
winter rhythm
Maybe it's an ok thing that we're having the coldest/snowiest winter in memory and that I can't seem to get well - 2nd round of antibiotics (I've never had a round of antibiotics not work. ever. i don't feel good about this) because it's made the transition to our winter rhythm pretty easy. Sleeping in a little later, slower to get breakfast on the table, reading seems to take the place of our previously lengthy outside time. I'm discovering that this weather is just as draining for me as those long weeks of 100 degrees with 100% humidity. So, I'm continually trying to embrace this slow time in our year before the busy out breath of spring and summer come. Most days no one is eager to leave our circle time quilt or the coziness of the couch and so we read one more chapter or sing one more song or count to 100 by 2s while everyone jumps. Well, I don't jump. I drink coffee and count with them. Priorities people.
I do feel like I am slowly, slowly getting my footing with homeschooling. That this season feels familiar is a total gift. I'm not paying any extra attention to my semi-fleeting, semi-regular thoughts of oh. my. gosh. it would be so much easier to send them to public school every morning. So much easier to go to a job where I know what I need to do every day and no one wipes their boogers on the couch for the 8th time in an hour. I mean hopefully. Because I know this is a season and that everyone wants to quit homeschooling in February. Because even the slow season comes with its distinct challenges. I am taking this opportunity to carve out and recognize the few small breaks I get during the day. The 20 minutes that the kids disappear while I get lunch on the table that I can put a podcast on and escape a bit into some grown up learning. A successful rest time. Being ok with 10 minutes, or even 5 minutes of knitting while everyone is busy with projects at the art table. When those breaks are present, and I have the wherewithal to recognize them, I do know that we are doing the exact right thing for our family.
Somewhere, in the back of my brain, there's a nagging voice telling me I'm almost at the halfway point in my pregnancy. While there's not really anything to do except make a couple purchases, set up a couple areas, and some laundry, I know that we also need to prepare our hearts to expand again. To mentally prepare for the changes we know will come this summer. I'm forming a plan for our homeschool year with a newborn and trying to remember how those first days and months go. Thanking my lucky stars that this will be a summer child and that we will hopefully have months of easy outside time to help with the transition.
There's a lot on the internet about the different stages of homeschooling. Much of it I draw comfort from because except for a few families we are exactly like everyone else. I mean the days look different, but the emotions and frustrations and joys are seemingly universal. These early years are an intense investment towards later self-directed learning where my facilitation will not take the form of what feels like constant hand-holding. I'm sure I'll miss it, but I have many years of hand-holding ahead of me. I try to picture the future and can't envision what our days will look like in 5 years with a 5, 9 and 12 year old. At minimum. Goodness.
So, yes, I'm focusing on the present. The foot of snow outside. The days too cold to do much of anything outdoors. The extra time to read The Long Winter and Mr. Popper's Penguins (next on our list). The extra cups of tea and warm milk with honey. That is certainly good enough for now.
I do feel like I am slowly, slowly getting my footing with homeschooling. That this season feels familiar is a total gift. I'm not paying any extra attention to my semi-fleeting, semi-regular thoughts of oh. my. gosh. it would be so much easier to send them to public school every morning. So much easier to go to a job where I know what I need to do every day and no one wipes their boogers on the couch for the 8th time in an hour. I mean hopefully. Because I know this is a season and that everyone wants to quit homeschooling in February. Because even the slow season comes with its distinct challenges. I am taking this opportunity to carve out and recognize the few small breaks I get during the day. The 20 minutes that the kids disappear while I get lunch on the table that I can put a podcast on and escape a bit into some grown up learning. A successful rest time. Being ok with 10 minutes, or even 5 minutes of knitting while everyone is busy with projects at the art table. When those breaks are present, and I have the wherewithal to recognize them, I do know that we are doing the exact right thing for our family.
Somewhere, in the back of my brain, there's a nagging voice telling me I'm almost at the halfway point in my pregnancy. While there's not really anything to do except make a couple purchases, set up a couple areas, and some laundry, I know that we also need to prepare our hearts to expand again. To mentally prepare for the changes we know will come this summer. I'm forming a plan for our homeschool year with a newborn and trying to remember how those first days and months go. Thanking my lucky stars that this will be a summer child and that we will hopefully have months of easy outside time to help with the transition.
There's a lot on the internet about the different stages of homeschooling. Much of it I draw comfort from because except for a few families we are exactly like everyone else. I mean the days look different, but the emotions and frustrations and joys are seemingly universal. These early years are an intense investment towards later self-directed learning where my facilitation will not take the form of what feels like constant hand-holding. I'm sure I'll miss it, but I have many years of hand-holding ahead of me. I try to picture the future and can't envision what our days will look like in 5 years with a 5, 9 and 12 year old. At minimum. Goodness.
So, yes, I'm focusing on the present. The foot of snow outside. The days too cold to do much of anything outdoors. The extra time to read The Long Winter and Mr. Popper's Penguins (next on our list). The extra cups of tea and warm milk with honey. That is certainly good enough for now.
January 30, 2014
recovering
So last Friday at about 2:00 am Guthrie got hit with the flu, and then an hour later I got it, then 8 hours after that John got it, then 36 hours after John, Laithe finally succumbed. His immune system wins apparently! This has never, ever happened. Ever. It was so weird that we thought it might have been food poisoning, but then Laithe would have never gotten it. Because he lives on air and yogurt.
It was quick, but violent *ahem.* And that's all I will say about that. The recovery though is what is killing me. Forever. A week later and I'm still feeling like I'm not at my best. Soooo much better, but just still getting over it. I'm sure it has to be pregnancy and being a stay at home mom. I just haven't had the extra down time I need. Guthrie is still kind of puny too - though I have to be honest that I believe most of her issue is that she's terrified she will get it again which makes her not eat, which makes her stomach hurt, which lowers her blood sugar which makes her repeat the phrase "I feel like I'm gonna puke" 85 times a day and evening. Which, I get completely. I mean you don't eat, you don't feel good. And throwing up is the worst when you're a kid. But I'm losing my patience a bit with it. I mean a good science lesson in immune systems - something she's already very well versed in, but yeah, I'm done.
John and I both expressed that though the weekend was absolutely miserable there was something kind of, oh I don't know, sweet about us all getting through it together. It was almost like being on the worst vacation ever. But still a time of isolation and togetherness.
And the amount of laundry afterwards was about the same as 2 weeks of camping. I stopped counting at 19 loads.
Not even joking.
I even bought detergent, something I haven't done for at least 2 years. I was fairly annoyed at how much it cost and I've been super disappointed (but smug) in it's crappy stain removing abilities as compared to what I make.
Gearing up for more snow this weekend and a Super Bowl party involving my two favorite teams. I mean if I had favorite teams, you know. But I try. Because my husband tries to be interested in my sewing and knitting projects. Oh marriage, you're a funny bird.
Hoping you all are well and stay well!
It was quick, but violent *ahem.* And that's all I will say about that. The recovery though is what is killing me. Forever. A week later and I'm still feeling like I'm not at my best. Soooo much better, but just still getting over it. I'm sure it has to be pregnancy and being a stay at home mom. I just haven't had the extra down time I need. Guthrie is still kind of puny too - though I have to be honest that I believe most of her issue is that she's terrified she will get it again which makes her not eat, which makes her stomach hurt, which lowers her blood sugar which makes her repeat the phrase "I feel like I'm gonna puke" 85 times a day and evening. Which, I get completely. I mean you don't eat, you don't feel good. And throwing up is the worst when you're a kid. But I'm losing my patience a bit with it. I mean a good science lesson in immune systems - something she's already very well versed in, but yeah, I'm done.
John and I both expressed that though the weekend was absolutely miserable there was something kind of, oh I don't know, sweet about us all getting through it together. It was almost like being on the worst vacation ever. But still a time of isolation and togetherness.
And the amount of laundry afterwards was about the same as 2 weeks of camping. I stopped counting at 19 loads.
Not even joking.
I even bought detergent, something I haven't done for at least 2 years. I was fairly annoyed at how much it cost and I've been super disappointed (but smug) in it's crappy stain removing abilities as compared to what I make.
Gearing up for more snow this weekend and a Super Bowl party involving my two favorite teams. I mean if I had favorite teams, you know. But I try. Because my husband tries to be interested in my sewing and knitting projects. Oh marriage, you're a funny bird.
Hoping you all are well and stay well!
January 9, 2014
what a week!
When I quit my job I wondered how weekends would go, if I would even notice them anymore.
Well, I do. Especially after weeks like this!
Between my mom's rotator cuff surgery (it went well and she's healing up at our house for now with the kids taking good care of her), the neighbor's house fire (just in the chimney, but still very scary and very disruptive for their daily life and home - and we're all so grateful for how everything turned out), a sinus infection, the polar vortex, and starting my second trimester (!) it's just been kind of a busy week. Not particularly difficult, but I feel like I could benefit from a couple extra hours of sleep. Hopefully as soon as the antibiotic I picked up this morning kicks in I'll be able to stay asleep for more than 20 minutes at a time!
Monday morning we woke up to -41 degree windchill and it's finally warming up today, I think the high is 25! Par-tay! This weekend is supposed to be nice and I'm hoping the kids will spend some much needed time outdoors. Maybe we will too.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is nervous to see what these past weeks have done to their utility bill.
Tomorrow, if the weather cooperates and it's rain or snow instead of freezing rain, John and I will head to an ob appointment, for now we're going the Dr. an hour away route I'm sure I'll talk about our decision making later. And I have to be honest I'm kind of looking forward to some quiet time in the car. Like I said it's not that it's been a difficult week I am just worn out. And the kids have been inside for a really, really long time and even though their behavior has been phenomenal, really it has, everyone needs a little break sometimes! And then the weekend. I'm counting on at least one good nap.
Next week we restart school and then back to our normal little routine. At least for a few months!
November 20, 2013
afternoons in the 'hood
I like our neighborhood.
I mean we've had some mishaps (stolen bike, hit and run garage door smashing, the neighbors had a brick thrown through their windshield a few years ago, i'm painting an awesome picture aren't I?!) but on the whole it's been a good place. I feel safe here. I feel like my kids can play outside without me having to watch them like a hawk --- especially now that we have the dog who doesn't even let squirrels come into the yard.
The three houses in a row right here have stair step kids. On one side of us are a 10 and 8 year old, we have a 7 and 3 year old and on the other side is a 2 year old. We've taken the 10 and 8 year old to the park with us a few times and the other day we took them with us while we walked to vote. We always get looks - because, I mean we all sort of look like we could be related. The women say things like wow - you guys are all really close in age aren't you? Makes me laugh.
I like sitting on our front porch in the afternoons, where we get the last of the sunshine. Many days, if the weather is nice, all the kids are out and all of us adults can chat a bit. Summer is especially nice - those long evenings when it's ok if dinner doesn't get thrown together until 7:00.
October 9, 2013
october
I love October. Might be my favorite month.
Last week I looked at my calendar and it was blissfully empty for the month.
Which apparently was just because I hadn't looked at my phone - where I keep my master calendar.
Busy, busy.
There's this thing we do in the midwest where we grasp the last bit of sunlight and warmth and pack as much as we can into it before the snow and ice come. Rather maybe the darkness and wind - because really those are the issue.
So, it's a good busy. Likely our last weeks without coats and mittens and socks, though yesterday both kids were wearing them.
Before I go getting overwhelmed with it all though I'm reminding myself of all the stuff to look forward to this month:
:: the leaves. do you have favorite trees in your neighborhood that you anticipate? Out our bathroom window is a group of (well, I don't know what they are, but tree identification is something we're doing this month so I'll get back to you) trees that turn bright yellow. I noticed yesterday that it's starting!
:: october skies. nothing like them
:: visits from friends! yay! always so soothing for the soul.
:: planning of Halloween costumes
:: last month of someone being 6! oh my!
:: homeschool classes - a field trip to a bee farm and a class about migratory birds
:: a small (hesitant) sigh of relief that someone is moving into an easier phase of being 3
:: decorative gourd season "when my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO!" (as you know i don't shy away from language, so there's a warning!)
:: cleaning up the garden. guthrie and her friend picked a bunch of tomatoes yesterday. every time i think it's the last time.
:: soup. not even joking.
:: knitting in cooler weather
:: decorative gourd season "when my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO!" (as you know i don't shy away from language, so there's a warning!)
:: cleaning up the garden. guthrie and her friend picked a bunch of tomatoes yesterday. every time i think it's the last time.
:: soup. not even joking.
:: knitting in cooler weather
August 21, 2013
slow days
A few slow days here after weeks of busy ones. Funny how it takes fevers and sore throats to really slow down, although we didn't have a lot planned this week.
We've been relying on books, netflix, kindle games, and broth to keep first Guthrie and now Laithe on the couch or in bed. It hasn't worked all that well, surprise surprise! But they have been much more willing to just hang out at home.
While having sick kids is certainly not my favorite - and certainly not my parenting forte - it has afforded me the opportunity to catch up in the kitchen (yogurt, kidney beans, pulled pork in the crock pot, roasted tomatoes, blanched green beans) and organize our school stuff for the year. Which helped me figure out what we absolutely need in the realm of school supplies. I love that the list is not long and it is almost completely art supplies. There are a couple resource books I'd like to pick up rather than keep checking out from the library and Guthrie wants the next workbook in her Explode the Code series. I was going to leave out workbooks this year, but if she wants to do one I'm not going to stop her! And that is it. We should be ready for the year.
Sunday is my final day for planning and I need to make a list of what I want to get done before then so I don't waste precious vacation time.
Just got another request for broth and orzo so I'm off to cook that up. Hopefully this afternoon will include some sewing. We all have major patching needs and I just keep putting it off because it's not fun. And maybe I'll decide what to do with the 10 lbs of tomatoes I've picked from the garden this week. So many options!
We've been relying on books, netflix, kindle games, and broth to keep first Guthrie and now Laithe on the couch or in bed. It hasn't worked all that well, surprise surprise! But they have been much more willing to just hang out at home.
While having sick kids is certainly not my favorite - and certainly not my parenting forte - it has afforded me the opportunity to catch up in the kitchen (yogurt, kidney beans, pulled pork in the crock pot, roasted tomatoes, blanched green beans) and organize our school stuff for the year. Which helped me figure out what we absolutely need in the realm of school supplies. I love that the list is not long and it is almost completely art supplies. There are a couple resource books I'd like to pick up rather than keep checking out from the library and Guthrie wants the next workbook in her Explode the Code series. I was going to leave out workbooks this year, but if she wants to do one I'm not going to stop her! And that is it. We should be ready for the year.
Sunday is my final day for planning and I need to make a list of what I want to get done before then so I don't waste precious vacation time.
Just got another request for broth and orzo so I'm off to cook that up. Hopefully this afternoon will include some sewing. We all have major patching needs and I just keep putting it off because it's not fun. And maybe I'll decide what to do with the 10 lbs of tomatoes I've picked from the garden this week. So many options!
August 16, 2013
not-first day of school
This week is the back-to-school week it seems for most of the mid-west.
It always feel so early, but they get out of school in May so, it makes sense. I'm a post-Labor Day kind of girl myself, and this year we'll be super post-Labor Day not starting until the 9th of September. Which I'm really excited about because it means we get 2 weeks of vacation with John which we wouldn't get if the kids weren't homeschooled.
My facebook stream is full of First Day of School photos from all our public and private school friends and I have to admit it tugs a little. I don't know if it's nostalgia or envy or what, but there's something there. There's just that feeling of the First Day of School that I'm not sure my kids will experience in the same way that I did. I mean we do the scrubbed clean and shiny first day of school pictures on the front porch and we make a fuss because I'm a fan of fuss and tradition and celebrations wherever we can stick them, but it's not paired with the smell of school halls and that knot of anticipation and anxiety you get on your way to the bus. I know there will be lots of excitement though.
Not like they really know what they're missing. Guthrie had 3 years of preschool, but I believe that her memory of those First Days will be what we tell her in our Family Lore. You know? I'm sure she'll remember her time there because it was such a fantastic experience, but not the First Day of School. I know what they're missing though- I think that's what is causing this. My kids are having different experiences than I did. And really, yay for them!
And in no way do I want to change what we are doing. This fleeting moment of whatever is just that.
Frequently you'll see homeschool groups throwing a 'not back to school' celebration this time of year. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, I'm always up for a party and I'm always up for being proud and celebrating active choices. I'm not up for being smug about our decision though. This works for our family. It may not be the best choice for your family or even an available choice. None of these choices are wrong. Ever.
Today, while the neighborhood is in school my kids are climbing the tree in the back yard, working on their cardboard fort, working on their interpersonal "skills" (ha!), measuring cicada husks. . . these choices we are making are really good for our family.
It always feel so early, but they get out of school in May so, it makes sense. I'm a post-Labor Day kind of girl myself, and this year we'll be super post-Labor Day not starting until the 9th of September. Which I'm really excited about because it means we get 2 weeks of vacation with John which we wouldn't get if the kids weren't homeschooled.
My facebook stream is full of First Day of School photos from all our public and private school friends and I have to admit it tugs a little. I don't know if it's nostalgia or envy or what, but there's something there. There's just that feeling of the First Day of School that I'm not sure my kids will experience in the same way that I did. I mean we do the scrubbed clean and shiny first day of school pictures on the front porch and we make a fuss because I'm a fan of fuss and tradition and celebrations wherever we can stick them, but it's not paired with the smell of school halls and that knot of anticipation and anxiety you get on your way to the bus. I know there will be lots of excitement though.
Not like they really know what they're missing. Guthrie had 3 years of preschool, but I believe that her memory of those First Days will be what we tell her in our Family Lore. You know? I'm sure she'll remember her time there because it was such a fantastic experience, but not the First Day of School. I know what they're missing though- I think that's what is causing this. My kids are having different experiences than I did. And really, yay for them!
And in no way do I want to change what we are doing. This fleeting moment of whatever is just that.
Frequently you'll see homeschool groups throwing a 'not back to school' celebration this time of year. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, I'm always up for a party and I'm always up for being proud and celebrating active choices. I'm not up for being smug about our decision though. This works for our family. It may not be the best choice for your family or even an available choice. None of these choices are wrong. Ever.
Today, while the neighborhood is in school my kids are climbing the tree in the back yard, working on their cardboard fort, working on their interpersonal "skills" (ha!), measuring cicada husks. . . these choices we are making are really good for our family.
August 8, 2013
a month later
Summer break is in full swing and apparently it's been blog break time too! I still want to post on here and writing is still good for me, but I wonder about how I've been doing this for over 6 years and maybe I'm feeling a bit stagnant?
But, also it's outbreath time, you know? The extra daylight, extra yard work, extra trips to the park, extra energy. Maybe outbreath season is not my blogging season.
We've been busy, pleasantly busy I think. Our friends Katie and family (three boys full of awesome) came out for a few days and as I was cleaning up a bit (ahem) it occurred to me that we haven't had overnight company for a long time - like a couple of years. Too long!
Then PopPop came to visit for a few days and we all went hiking at Wild Cat Den State Park. It is possible that Wild Cat Den hold some sort of special magic over our children. The kind of magic that makes them extra whiny and argumentative. Last time we went we had to "turn this car around" halfway through the trip because they simply could not get their shit together. It was frustrating and it has become sort of family lore. I don't know if that will prevent it from happening again though. Halfway through the trail this time though we had to give the kids a talking to and after some snacks and a break the rest of the hike was quite pleasant! It's so beautiful down there. We've seen the park in 2 seasons, I'm excited to see it in fall and winter too.
The next week the kids took a trip with both my mom and John's mom up to Madison for 4 days! It was the furthest away from home they've been without us and the longest without us. And they loved it! They had so much fun and I think they'll talk about it daily for many months!
I took the week to plan school and rip out some carpet. And not do dishes. One load the whole week and it was awesome! We also watched tv. Without interruption or regard for mature content. Whole lotta Law and Order not on mute with closed caption.
We were ready for them to come home though and neither kid left our sides for a few days.
Things are settling back in this week and as the neighborhood school starts on Monday it's starting to feel like fall already. The leaves are beginning to change a bit and the weather is decidedly not August-like. My vines are full of unripened tomatoes. If we could get a few 90 degree days . . .
We've got 4 more weeks of summer vacation and the last 2 of those John is taking off. We're planning on taking some day trips the first week and going to dr. appointments (yay!) and the second week I think we're going to go camping. I need to make some reservations. I do have to say I think the kids are ready for more structure again. Things have been purposefully lax this summer and it has been enjoyed by all but, as Guthrie said this week, I kind of miss learning things.
Happy Dog Days of Summer!
But, also it's outbreath time, you know? The extra daylight, extra yard work, extra trips to the park, extra energy. Maybe outbreath season is not my blogging season.
We've been busy, pleasantly busy I think. Our friends Katie and family (three boys full of awesome) came out for a few days and as I was cleaning up a bit (ahem) it occurred to me that we haven't had overnight company for a long time - like a couple of years. Too long!
Then PopPop came to visit for a few days and we all went hiking at Wild Cat Den State Park. It is possible that Wild Cat Den hold some sort of special magic over our children. The kind of magic that makes them extra whiny and argumentative. Last time we went we had to "turn this car around" halfway through the trip because they simply could not get their shit together. It was frustrating and it has become sort of family lore. I don't know if that will prevent it from happening again though. Halfway through the trail this time though we had to give the kids a talking to and after some snacks and a break the rest of the hike was quite pleasant! It's so beautiful down there. We've seen the park in 2 seasons, I'm excited to see it in fall and winter too.
The next week the kids took a trip with both my mom and John's mom up to Madison for 4 days! It was the furthest away from home they've been without us and the longest without us. And they loved it! They had so much fun and I think they'll talk about it daily for many months!
I took the week to plan school and rip out some carpet. And not do dishes. One load the whole week and it was awesome! We also watched tv. Without interruption or regard for mature content. Whole lotta Law and Order not on mute with closed caption.
We were ready for them to come home though and neither kid left our sides for a few days.
Things are settling back in this week and as the neighborhood school starts on Monday it's starting to feel like fall already. The leaves are beginning to change a bit and the weather is decidedly not August-like. My vines are full of unripened tomatoes. If we could get a few 90 degree days . . .
We've got 4 more weeks of summer vacation and the last 2 of those John is taking off. We're planning on taking some day trips the first week and going to dr. appointments (yay!) and the second week I think we're going to go camping. I need to make some reservations. I do have to say I think the kids are ready for more structure again. Things have been purposefully lax this summer and it has been enjoyed by all but, as Guthrie said this week, I kind of miss learning things.
Happy Dog Days of Summer!
May 28, 2013
these days.
This morning has been unpleasant.
Not the entire morning, but man there is some kind of magic that happens when John walks out the door to work. Thankfully I got breakfast and coffee in before that. Before the surly happened. Before the sibling jealousy and fighting.
The screaming, crying, tantruming. And the whining. OH MY STARS THE WHINING. It is NEVER ENDING. EVER.
It's like Guthrie cannot communicate with me unless there is that twinge to her voice. The twinge that is like effing nails on a chalkboard.
And not to be outdone, Laithe's frustration with life has reached new decibels these days. Long bouts of screaming that tend to render us dumbfounded because what the hell, dude? The cap didn't go back on the marker correctly. That's really what this is about?
And really what is up with how much and often these kids need to be fed? Sheesh.
It's not that I expect every day, or even every moment (because if you measure good and rough in days instead of moments as a parent you are so setting yourself up for disaster) to be pleasant or enjoyable. My job as a parent/teacher is to raise functioning adults. The End.
But it's so much nicer when it's an enjoyable task.
***
I'm enjoying a self-imposed break on the couch. "Mama needs some quiet time. Find something to do."
When I can take a step back and a few deep breaths I can see that this behavior is a phase. That this too shall pass. That there are growing pains that I can't always recognize going on. That the best thing for all of us is to maintain our usual rhythm and expectations.
But, that perspective is escaping me right now. Giving me an edge to my voice that I don't like, but I will forgive myself for because mama is human too and perfection is exhausting - especially on this little sleep.
During my break I read the new post on Momastery - if you don't read it you really should. I think if I had to pinpoint the most impacting thing I've read this year it's Glennon's blog. There is truly nothing like someone making you feel 1. normal, and 2. not alone. I've got some momotony going on right now. For sures.
We're leaving tomorrow, the kids and I, for a few days with friends from college. The kids are all 6 and under and between my two and her three they seem to mesh well. It's always a welcome break to get out of my every-day for awhile. Even if it is just parenting in a different space. It's is also welcome to share a space with another person doing the sacred art of parenting. Someone as "in the trenches" as I am.
***
Break time is over. Guess who is hungry again??
And after that some outside time is in order before we head out to run errands I think.
And then I'll keep doing the dishes and the laundry . . . again. Oh these days are so long sometimes.
Not the entire morning, but man there is some kind of magic that happens when John walks out the door to work. Thankfully I got breakfast and coffee in before that. Before the surly happened. Before the sibling jealousy and fighting.
The screaming, crying, tantruming. And the whining. OH MY STARS THE WHINING. It is NEVER ENDING. EVER.
It's like Guthrie cannot communicate with me unless there is that twinge to her voice. The twinge that is like effing nails on a chalkboard.
And not to be outdone, Laithe's frustration with life has reached new decibels these days. Long bouts of screaming that tend to render us dumbfounded because what the hell, dude? The cap didn't go back on the marker correctly. That's really what this is about?
And really what is up with how much and often these kids need to be fed? Sheesh.
It's not that I expect every day, or even every moment (because if you measure good and rough in days instead of moments as a parent you are so setting yourself up for disaster) to be pleasant or enjoyable. My job as a parent/teacher is to raise functioning adults. The End.
But it's so much nicer when it's an enjoyable task.
***
I'm enjoying a self-imposed break on the couch. "Mama needs some quiet time. Find something to do."
When I can take a step back and a few deep breaths I can see that this behavior is a phase. That this too shall pass. That there are growing pains that I can't always recognize going on. That the best thing for all of us is to maintain our usual rhythm and expectations.
But, that perspective is escaping me right now. Giving me an edge to my voice that I don't like, but I will forgive myself for because mama is human too and perfection is exhausting - especially on this little sleep.
During my break I read the new post on Momastery - if you don't read it you really should. I think if I had to pinpoint the most impacting thing I've read this year it's Glennon's blog. There is truly nothing like someone making you feel 1. normal, and 2. not alone. I've got some momotony going on right now. For sures.
We're leaving tomorrow, the kids and I, for a few days with friends from college. The kids are all 6 and under and between my two and her three they seem to mesh well. It's always a welcome break to get out of my every-day for awhile. Even if it is just parenting in a different space. It's is also welcome to share a space with another person doing the sacred art of parenting. Someone as "in the trenches" as I am.
***
Break time is over. Guess who is hungry again??
And after that some outside time is in order before we head out to run errands I think.
And then I'll keep doing the dishes and the laundry . . . again. Oh these days are so long sometimes.
February 21, 2013
hiatus
It would seem I took an unplanned break from blogging! I needed it I think. Negotiable things in my life are few and far between right now, so I try really hard to keep this as one of those - - if it gets to be a chore I need and take a break.
Things are humming along, or dragging along depending on the day, or hour.
February.
She's a tough one isn't she? I'm gearing myself up for March to be similar. Spring doesn't usually come here until April when we're all so grateful for something green it's embarrassing. The lengthening days are so appreciated though. Even if it's not particularly or remotely warm.
We were studying the arctic a few weeks ago and in describing the tundra I told the kids- half jokingly - to go look at our back yard. Frozen mud. I'm looking forward to spring like I haven't in a long time. I'm just so cold. All. The. Time.
You know those days when it just seems altogether too much effort to have to put on your boots to take out the trash even though you really need to? Yeah. Several of those. And I know it isn't just the weather. We've got some good friends who are struggling right now and it weighs heavily you know? And just some private stuff I know you'll understand my keeping it private.
Yesterday was good though. We had someone come to the door midday and I was actually wearing a bra! Success! Only because the past two times the roofer has come to the door, also midday, he's been treated to awkwardly placed folded arms.
And it's not like when you were in your 20s and it could be somewhat thrown off as daring. No, mid-30s having breastfed two kids, wearing yoga pants is not going to convince anyone I was anything other than tired. And maybe lazy.
Yes, I said roofer. We're finally getting a new roof! We've put it off for almost 2 years and after a somewhat unwelcome nudge from our homeowner's insurance we're getting it done. Six of the next seven days have snow in the forecast, but there's a dumpster in the front and a crane brought all the supplies (highlight of the school day), so I think they'll take advantage of any good weather they can get. Just because I know someone will ask, I picked Estate Grey for the color of the shingles. I think it'll look nice and clean and go nicely with the whitish gray siding. And it will be a vast improvement over the crap brown we have now.
Also we have this gigantic antenna on our roof. Cannot wait till that shit comes down. I don't know who was trying to contact the aliens, but it wasn't us.
Thanks largely to some very generous family members we aren't having to finance any of it. Which is a huge weight off my shoulders. Doing taxes and a few other official things I keep having to check the box that says "unemployed" and if feels weird.
I actually checked a box that said homemaker once and that felt more comfortable because I could convince myself it was romantically vintage. But every time I check one of those boxes that snarky voice in the back of my head reminds me that I'm not earning a wage. Not my favorite, although I wouldn't trade what I'm doing right now for much of anything - even if it's not been the best few weeks.
There are a few things to look forward to in the next month, aside from a new roof (hopefully!). Our new couch and ottoman (that we ordered 2 months ago) should arrive in the next couple weeks taking our living room from college-ikea to grown up. Strangely they're both the same color as the shingles. I do like to be well coordinated.
Laithe is turning 3 in ten days. It will be fun to celebrate the little life that has brought so much vitality to our family!
And then, before we know it it will be spring and we'll spend more than 15 minutes outside at a time and I can go barefoot around the house! And everything will smell like dirt. And that will be lovely.
But, before we can get there we'll get through this next snowstorm, or series of snowstorms, and I'm sure it will make us extra grateful.
Things are humming along, or dragging along depending on the day, or hour.
February.
She's a tough one isn't she? I'm gearing myself up for March to be similar. Spring doesn't usually come here until April when we're all so grateful for something green it's embarrassing. The lengthening days are so appreciated though. Even if it's not particularly or remotely warm.
We were studying the arctic a few weeks ago and in describing the tundra I told the kids- half jokingly - to go look at our back yard. Frozen mud. I'm looking forward to spring like I haven't in a long time. I'm just so cold. All. The. Time.
You know those days when it just seems altogether too much effort to have to put on your boots to take out the trash even though you really need to? Yeah. Several of those. And I know it isn't just the weather. We've got some good friends who are struggling right now and it weighs heavily you know? And just some private stuff I know you'll understand my keeping it private.
Yesterday was good though. We had someone come to the door midday and I was actually wearing a bra! Success! Only because the past two times the roofer has come to the door, also midday, he's been treated to awkwardly placed folded arms.
And it's not like when you were in your 20s and it could be somewhat thrown off as daring. No, mid-30s having breastfed two kids, wearing yoga pants is not going to convince anyone I was anything other than tired. And maybe lazy.
Yes, I said roofer. We're finally getting a new roof! We've put it off for almost 2 years and after a somewhat unwelcome nudge from our homeowner's insurance we're getting it done. Six of the next seven days have snow in the forecast, but there's a dumpster in the front and a crane brought all the supplies (highlight of the school day), so I think they'll take advantage of any good weather they can get. Just because I know someone will ask, I picked Estate Grey for the color of the shingles. I think it'll look nice and clean and go nicely with the whitish gray siding. And it will be a vast improvement over the crap brown we have now.
Also we have this gigantic antenna on our roof. Cannot wait till that shit comes down. I don't know who was trying to contact the aliens, but it wasn't us.
Thanks largely to some very generous family members we aren't having to finance any of it. Which is a huge weight off my shoulders. Doing taxes and a few other official things I keep having to check the box that says "unemployed" and if feels weird.
I actually checked a box that said homemaker once and that felt more comfortable because I could convince myself it was romantically vintage. But every time I check one of those boxes that snarky voice in the back of my head reminds me that I'm not earning a wage. Not my favorite, although I wouldn't trade what I'm doing right now for much of anything - even if it's not been the best few weeks.
There are a few things to look forward to in the next month, aside from a new roof (hopefully!). Our new couch and ottoman (that we ordered 2 months ago) should arrive in the next couple weeks taking our living room from college-ikea to grown up. Strangely they're both the same color as the shingles. I do like to be well coordinated.
Laithe is turning 3 in ten days. It will be fun to celebrate the little life that has brought so much vitality to our family!
And then, before we know it it will be spring and we'll spend more than 15 minutes outside at a time and I can go barefoot around the house! And everything will smell like dirt. And that will be lovely.
But, before we can get there we'll get through this next snowstorm, or series of snowstorms, and I'm sure it will make us extra grateful.
January 1, 2013
resolution magnetism
Oh this time of year - it's so easy for me to be influenced by all the Resolutions! Goals! 13 for 13! going on. I mean I do have goals people, but I don't know.
It's really cold tonight. Mostly my goal is to wrap up in the cape my dad knitted for me and watch some more Downton Abbey before the new season starts. Did you know that before I got all into it last year I thought it was Downtown Abbey and the main reason I didn't feel like watching it was because I wasn't up for another of those gritty British victorian-sherlock-why does it always rain in London and why is there so much soot?- shows? Since then I have found it's worth it to actually read both the title of the show and the description correctly. And maybe the era. Anyways.
My mind keeps circling back to the 'what do I want to do this year?' There's all this talk on the internets about choosing your word for the year. The word that will define what the year is about to you. I think it's kind of a cool idea and I admire the people that are really getting into it, but I swear my word, or whatever, always seems to sidle up to me midsummer and by fall it's hitting me over the head to get me to pay attention. So, I think I'll wait and see what comes.
The stuff of past resolutions - cooking more at home, clothing my children in more 2nd hand and homemade, being more DIY about household stuff, well, I did it. There's a constant battle about meals in our house right now that is just so unpleasant I don't even want to talk about it. I cook much of the time and one time while I was doing my meal planning I realized that I was cooking around 80 meals a month and man, I will never think in those terms again. I had a coworker that one time sat down and figured out how many loads of laundry she'd done for her spouse and children over the past 20 years and then had to get a divorce because it was just that awful. So, I don't want my resolutions to be about something that my children will pretend to gag over (charming isn't it?) because there is zero fun in that.
Hmm.
I would like to hone some of my skills a bit more. This Christmas season I reused a pattern that I had sewn a couple years ago and was struck by how far my sewing skills had come. What took me like 3 hours last time took about 45 minutes this time. It was such a nice surprise! There's still a lot I'm not comfortable doing, so I'd like to keep at it. And my knitting has come a long ways in the past year or so, but I still have so much to learn.
Maybe that's it. Maybe this past year held so many changes and new things for our family that this year can just be about keeping on. More of the good stuff, less of the bad. I'm sure we're in for some surprises and all the stuff of life, but for me, I'd just like to ride the wave that is having a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old. Married life, homeschooling, being present and full of awe at it all. And maybe, maybe, try to keep up with the dishes a bit more.
But that might be overstepping things a bit.
Happy January!
It's really cold tonight. Mostly my goal is to wrap up in the cape my dad knitted for me and watch some more Downton Abbey before the new season starts. Did you know that before I got all into it last year I thought it was Downtown Abbey and the main reason I didn't feel like watching it was because I wasn't up for another of those gritty British victorian-sherlock-why does it always rain in London and why is there so much soot?- shows? Since then I have found it's worth it to actually read both the title of the show and the description correctly. And maybe the era. Anyways.
My mind keeps circling back to the 'what do I want to do this year?' There's all this talk on the internets about choosing your word for the year. The word that will define what the year is about to you. I think it's kind of a cool idea and I admire the people that are really getting into it, but I swear my word, or whatever, always seems to sidle up to me midsummer and by fall it's hitting me over the head to get me to pay attention. So, I think I'll wait and see what comes.
The stuff of past resolutions - cooking more at home, clothing my children in more 2nd hand and homemade, being more DIY about household stuff, well, I did it. There's a constant battle about meals in our house right now that is just so unpleasant I don't even want to talk about it. I cook much of the time and one time while I was doing my meal planning I realized that I was cooking around 80 meals a month and man, I will never think in those terms again. I had a coworker that one time sat down and figured out how many loads of laundry she'd done for her spouse and children over the past 20 years and then had to get a divorce because it was just that awful. So, I don't want my resolutions to be about something that my children will pretend to gag over (charming isn't it?) because there is zero fun in that.
Hmm.
I would like to hone some of my skills a bit more. This Christmas season I reused a pattern that I had sewn a couple years ago and was struck by how far my sewing skills had come. What took me like 3 hours last time took about 45 minutes this time. It was such a nice surprise! There's still a lot I'm not comfortable doing, so I'd like to keep at it. And my knitting has come a long ways in the past year or so, but I still have so much to learn.
Maybe that's it. Maybe this past year held so many changes and new things for our family that this year can just be about keeping on. More of the good stuff, less of the bad. I'm sure we're in for some surprises and all the stuff of life, but for me, I'd just like to ride the wave that is having a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old. Married life, homeschooling, being present and full of awe at it all. And maybe, maybe, try to keep up with the dishes a bit more.
But that might be overstepping things a bit.
Happy January!
December 31, 2012
2012. done.
{january}
{february}
{march}
{april}
{may}
{june}
{july}
{august}
{september}
{october}
{november}
{december}
I don't even know how to look back on this year. There were certainly many, many days of joy and laughter and adventure and love. There were also so many days of heartache and fear and sorrow and uncertainty. I think mainly this was a year of growth - at least for John and I. As individuals, as a couple, definitely as parents. I am so thankful we are ending the year on a good note. In a place of strength and love and possibly a little relief that we can close this year.
So long 2012 . . .
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