2012. goodness.

2012. I've been writing that year for at least the past 6 months. I have no idea why - I wasn't wishing away my days, I just, apparently, on some really deep level think this year is going to be a big one. It's been a pain working in the medical field - lots of "dh error date" going on and crossing dates out on checks.

I feel I'm old enough to know better than to wish I could see what's ahead for us this year. If I could, I know for certain there would be parts I would wish against, parts that I could just do without, but that's not how it goes is it? Perspective at The Beginning is something I'm trying to take for the gift it is.

Of course I have some resolutions or goals, maybe just desires for the year. I do well with goals though - keeps me focused, feeling productive when I feel like all I do is dishes and laundry and diaper changes and dude that shit is never done. Ever.

I know without a doubt this year is going to be a big one for our family. Even though I know better I wish I could see a few months down the road. And I know it was totally unfair to say that and not follow it up with a: and here's why. But, we need to be silent for awhile before putting our plans out into the universe at large - universe being the internet. Public sphere that it is. So bear with us. And no, a baby is not on the way. Geez. Baby crazy people you are!

Here's what I hope to focus on this year though:

• drinking more tea. tea and coffee drinking are not necessarily about the actual drink for me - although i do love both. it's about the ritual and the pause. it's good to pause.
• releasing things i have no control over. everyone else's crisis is not my crisis and there's no need for it to be. it's a waste of my precious energy.
• being more mindful of my tone. gosh that is so embarrassing to write, but it's true.
• sleeping, drinking and moving more.
• being present. these years they are so very short. i want to be here for them.
• leaving the downstairs, at bedtime, in a state that will be welcoming for me in the morning, not stressful
  
• taking some online classes for personal growth - and not being too shy or scared to take the more 'out there' ones
  
• reexamining my priorities and the priorities of our household
• taking up yoga again- it's been too long and my body feels brittle and knotted

I feel like that should do it for me. Another thing is to try not to over achieve. It wears me out and truly my priorities should reflect that good enough is indeed good enough for many, many things.

I love reading everyone else's resolutions - so inspiring! What are some of yours?