April 25, 2008

oh happy day

I am happy to report that I've had 3 (THREE!) consecutive showers (not on the same day) where Guthrie pretty much left me alone. Or at least didn't stand in the bathroom on the other side of the curtain and howl like I'd left her alone to make her way in the world with the few life-work skills that she has. For the first time. Ever. It was lovely.

I know you're wondering what life-work skills does an almost-18 month old have exactly?
And here I present Guthrie's Resume:

To secure a life wherein I can eat pears, watch birds, dance to the blues, and know where my parents area at all times.

School of hard knocks November 1, 2006 to present.

  • stack blocks 4 high
  • use, or eat, crayons at will
  • yell Uh-Oh whilst looking perplexed about apparently nothing
  • temporarily distract anyone by screaming for apparently no reason in any locale and/or when presented with a question to which I must respond, i.e. "would you like to read a book before bedtime?"
  • get halfway up the slide going the wrong way
  • able to find random articles which cause parents to ask "where the heck did you get that Gus?" (such as the [empty] flask she found earlier this week and pretended to drink from. we're learnin' her early, heh.)
  • able to find articles on command, i.e., shoes, coats, mom's purse, remote controls, and books although have a tendency to get distracted by said activity and occasionally put said articles in hiding places such as the laundry hamper, the large kitchen bowls -mom's wallet totally belonged there- and the couch crack.
  • will blow kisses selectively
  • able to tell parents when it is time for bed by waving insistently
  • climb stairs, up or down
  • claps for anyone, anywhere, doing something maybe interesting
  • make toy animals talk to each other
Computer Skills: G-Chat, IM, can effectively screw up a Linux OS for hours with two keystrokes. Effective at sending emails through G-Mail. Able to dial a cell or landline phone.

Special Interests: running, bathing, tormenting cats, eating and throwing food

hmm I think she has a strong chance at getting hired for a Merit position at the University sometime soon.


Brandon said...

I think I need an intern, when can she star?

When I get forced to look for work by the State Unemployment Office very soon, I think I will use a very similar resume to Guthrie's.

ade said...

Hilarious! Glad to see you're making sure she's developing computer skills early. I could use a Linux sys admin ... what are her compensation requirements?

Stephanie Ann said...

Don't you just love the stage she is at? It's so cute to watch them interact with people, animals, toys, etc...I love it...except for the screaming, going limp, stomping her feet tantrums she throws now.

By the way...how did you get her to not bug you in the shower? Hailey seems to enjoy playing Peek-a-boo with me while I'm showing...it gets the floor all wet..and Hailey as well I might add. So please, if there is a secret, let me know. :o)


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