a girl named gus

thursday

2012-01-12T19:50:00.005-06:00

{{outside}}

it's 14 degrees with a windchill of -4.
yesterday it was 50.
we got 6 or so inches of snow with another one or two on the way.

winter i've missed you!

{{inside}}
it's 71 degrees
there's one happy toddler, happy to be inside, happy to be cozy, happy to be eating pineapple and getting mama to himself
potato corn chowder is bubbling away on my stove
my new stove! oh i love it! it'll take awhile to get reacquainted with gas, and with a stove that works properly, but i'm certain i'm up to the task.

looking forward to a cozy saturday morning making pancakes on the long middle burner!

monday monday

2012-01-09T10:45:00.006-06:00

i have today off because of a big training on Wednesday. one that i'm not looking forward to I have to say. i'm not a big one for corporate led training, or corporate culture, a huge shock to you i'm sure. however, another 3 day weekend? that i can get on board with!

and we cleaned house last night so all i have to do today is clean the bathroom, mop floors and laundry- which, there is a lot of it to be sure, but there's always a lot of it! not bad at all for me for a day off.

*****
things i'm enjoying this morning:
- a no tears morning for Guthrie

- a quiet little boy imitating mama knitting with his own yarn and needle

- miso soup lunch! a favorite for Guthrie and i

- a walk this afternoon to enjoy the sunshine

- refreshing the toy and craft supply filled corners of our home. january goal: figure out better storage for my crafty/yarn/fabric

- no pressure to cook anything further for 24 hours because:tada!!!

I will leave you with that. and tomorrow, if all goes as planned we'll enjoy our first dinner cooked by gas in a long time!

also - i don't think Idaho is in our future (see prior post's comments)- at least not that I'm aware of!! i'm sure now that I've written that we'll be moving in 6 months because that's how these things work haha! but as far as I know we're staying in our home/in davenport as far as our self-made plans go.

although Idaho is lovely and my soul does intensely miss the mountains - especially when my bff sends me this kind of pic from her daily walk.isn't that beautiful? they're the olympic mountains on the peninsula in washington. for us though, for now, it's prairie and mississippi river all the way.

happy monday!

2012. goodness.

2012-01-07T21:09:00.003-06:00

2012. I've been writing that year for at least the past 6 months. I have no idea why - I wasn't wishing away my days, I just, apparently, on some really deep level think this year is going to be a big one. It's been a pain working in the medical field - lots of "dh error date" going on and crossing dates out on checks.

I feel I'm old enough to know better than to wish I could see what's ahead for us this year. If I could, I know for certain there would be parts I would wish against, parts that I could just do without, but that's not how it goes is it? Perspective at The Beginning is something I'm trying to take for the gift it is.

Of course I have some resolutions or goals, maybe just desires for the year. I do well with goals though - keeps me focused, feeling productive when I feel like all I do is dishes and laundry and diaper changes and dude that shit is never done. Ever.

I know without a doubt this year is going to be a big one for our family. Even though I know better I wish I could see a few months down the road. And I know it was totally unfair to say that and not follow it up with a: and here's why. But, we need to be silent for awhile before putting our plans out into the universe at large - universe being the internet. Public sphere that it is. So bear with us. And no, a baby is not on the way. Geez. Baby crazy people you are!

Here's what I hope to focus on this year though:

drinking more tea. tea and coffee drinking are not necessarily about the actual drink for me - although i do love both. it's about the ritual and the pause. it's good to pause.
releasing things i have no control over. everyone else's crisis is not my crisis and there's no need for it to be. it's a waste of my precious energy.
being more mindful of my tone. gosh that is so embarrassing to write, but it's true.
sleeping, drinking and moving more.
being present. these years they are so very short. i want to be here for them.
leaving the downstairs, at bedtime, in a state that will be welcoming for me in the morning, not stressful
taking some online classes for personal growth - and not being too shy or scared to take the more 'out there' ones
reexamining my priorities and the priorities of our household
taking up yoga again- it's been too long and my body feels brittle and knotted

I feel like that should do it for me. Another thing is to try not to over achieve. It wears me out and truly my priorities should reflect that good enough is indeed good enough for many, many things.

I love reading everyone else's resolutions - so inspiring! What are some of yours?

holiday outtakes

2011-12-29T20:27:00.009-06:00

our internet has been spotty these last several days - and honestly i haven't entirely minded the break, i just wish the spottiness was on my schedule!

a lovely christmas was had, santa came and bestowed upon our children a doll and a shopping cart. family bestowed much, much more. after christmas i kind of piled and bagged up the gifts and they've enjoyed picking through them, taking them out one at a time. many clementines were consumed. a new stove was bought - my parents, grandparents, and in laws (all 8 of them) went together to get me a gift certificate for a new stove! the card made me tear up, still makes me tear up. such a truly meaningful present for me! the stove i picked will be a post unto itself. and votes are being cast amongst the family for what the First Meal should be.

new years is proving to be quiet. a rearranging of the laundry room, cleaning and sprucing up with the windows open and sunshine pouring in. some video games, some knitting, some lil smokies and pink champagne.

a white christmas was not to be had. in fact this was the warmest christmas i can remember in a long time. warmest winter- today broke 50. my internal rhythms are off and you can tell everyone elses' are too. it's weird.

a little photo shoot was done on christmas eve - an attempt to get a photo for our new years cards. here are some outtakes. i almost love these more than the "good" photos. they communicate our family so much better- the constant motion that is our household.
see you in 2012! may your days be filled with light and laughter!

big boy haircut

2011-12-21T09:09:00.000-06:00

somebody spent last weekend getting a haircut. yes, it took all weekend. i actually employed the aprille technique and hacked away while he was asleep. and then it took another 2 days to get some ok pictures. he's not a fan of the picture-taking these days- notice the slightly terrified, mostly irritated look on his face above?

i think he looks pretty cute, slightly uneven in that 'my mom cut my hair' kind of way, but whatever, he's one and a half. i'm just thankful he still has the cutest bedhead ever! he still looks like my baby boy, but the cut definitely adds to the mischievous twinkle he's got going!

advent

2011-12-20T08:09:00.001-06:00

Our yearly advent calendar has been met with some, well, um, disappointment by Guthrie this year. To the point that I reminded her two days ago that little elves have ears and are observing her disgruntledness and may not be back to fill the calendar! It's been a good lesson for me not to get too attached to things.

The best though was on the 2nd when I'd stuck 3 new tubes of watercolors in. "Oh Laithe it's just paint," echoed throughout the house and has quickly become our new favorite saying for anything.

However, she quickly changed her tune when I introduced her to wet on wet watercolor painting. I followed the prep-tuitorial at Magic Onions and she created a couple of paintings. The best part was hearing her describe what she was painting while she was painting it. It went from a raspberry garden to a pirate ship to a picture of her family. I sat next to her for part of the painting while I knitted to answer any color mixing questions, but I tried to be as hands-off even in my compliments as I could.

I think we were all pretty impressed with her creation. Oh Laithe, it's just paint indeed!

Dark Days Challenge Week 3

2011-12-18T18:34:00.003-06:00

epic fail.

not surprising that it was amidst the holiday season frenzy that i tried hard to avoid this year. but through a lack of planning and prep on my part the local meat is still frozen solid, there is a half bushel of apples sitting on the kitchen floor waiting, a number of chinese food containers in the fridge.

well, such is life.
lesson learned.

and truly, i don't feel so badly about this. that whole thing about motherhood teaching you about how sometimes good enough is indeed good enough? i think i've got it down pretty good.

so here's to next week, no less busy, but i will commit myself to carving out a half hour with a cup of tea to take stock and meal plan.

i also have the supplies to make a batch of *crossing my fingers* successful cottage cheese. the past ones were not so good. ah well.

to learning and the onward march of days!

four in the bed

2011-12-15T08:23:00.003-06:00

Welcome to the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival hosted by Monkey Butt Junction . Our bloggers have written on so many different aspects of cosleeping. Please read to
the end to find a list of links to the other carnival
participants.

***

So have you seen that ad they ran in the Milwaukee area about co-sleeping? Yeah, pretty disturbing and uh, uneducated? Because parents need to feel more ill at ease with their newborn. Because parents need to feel like at any moment the decision they make is going to kill their child. How about we educate parents on safe, healthy parenting? How about we give them the confidence they need to parent in a way that is best for their whole family, regardless of what their city thinks? (and really, really? the city put out this ad? i bet their constituents are hella thrilled they paid for that.)
When we decided to co-sleep we didn't really do it out of a place of academic or parenting philosophy. We did it because we'd had a fairly traumatic few days as a family during Guthrie's birth and we really needed that closeness. It was an intensely emotional decision.

And then we read some books. I got on the internet and figured out how to do it safely because we'd never done it before. Then it became a philosophical parenting decision. One that we intentionally chose. One that definitely had it's high and low points and frustrations and joys. Five years later we're still happily co-sleeping - and as a family of four.

One thing that's not talked about a lot in co-sleeping is the family transition from one child to two. You made this decision with your first child, but how will you make the same decision with your second especially if you're first is continuing to sleep in the family bed? I found two things made it easier: 1. providing our family with a lot of sleeping options and 2. remembering that it is a transition. Of course flexibility is always the key.

Guthrie got a 'big girl bed' in her room (she always had a room, she just never slept in it) when she turned 2. In theory we were going to going to stop co-sleeping with her because we were hoping to expand our family and had no idea how four in our bed would work. Except we didn't realize that none of us actually wanted to sleep separately. When she did sleep in her bed none of us rested well. So, we made a half-hearted effort to transition on and off. I bet you know how well that worked! But having an additional bed in the house was helpful. Sometimes John would get frustrated at being assed off the bed (either by Guthrie or the cat) and go sleep in her room, sometimes I slept in there when I wasn't feeling well - or a year later when I was super pregnant and could not get comfortable. And it was fine. It didn't mean John and I were less married or whatever. It did mean that we had to remind ourselves the nights may be long but these years are so very short. For the couple rough nights a week we'd have five that would be great.

And then Laithe came along. So, Guthrie was still mostly in our bed and so was a newborn. And so was a mom who was recovering from a c-section. And then there are the two cats - and let's not forget dad! It was a busy bed and there were a few things we did to make it more comfortable and more safe for all of us. We do have an Arm's Reach c0-sleeper that we attached to my side of the bed. Those first few nights Laithe did sleep most of the night in that because I was still on a heavy dose of oxy and when I did sleep it was drug induced. Not safe for baby! When I was down to ibuprofen Laithe slept in our bed, it went John, Guthrie, me, Laithe so as not to put Guthrie and Laithe next to one another. This went on for awhile. It helped Guthrie feel like she hadn't been usurped, it made us still feel close to her. I was not prepared for the dramatic change in Guthrie and my relationship when Laithe was born. I missed her so much! Sleeping in the same bed helped me to feel like I was still close to her. Eventually, Guthrie made more of a transition to her bed because it's tough to sleep with a newborn when you're not the one responsible for his care! And the co-sleeper? We kept it up for quite awhile and used it for the reason I like it - to hold my crap. Water bottle, books, picture books, diapers, wipes, burp cloths, and extra set of clothes or two, baby blanket. It's handy when it's within arm's reach! Ha ha get it?

So, did I ever let the kids sleep together without an adult? Yep I did. Once Laithe was a few months old - probably 3-4 I would put him next to the co-sleeper and give him a good foot of space then one of our firm pillows, then Guthrie. I felt safe with this. Not every parent of every kid would. But here's the deal, I know my kids, I know how they sleep. And I was comfortable with it. He was totally a stomach sleeper too. We know how to break all the rules, I tell ya!

I'll be honest though, that first year with two kids was a tough one, especially after I went back to work. They were both very in need of our attention and a full night of sleep was not to be had. However, the sleep we did get was good. I was not worried about Laithe one bit because he was always with at least one parent. Nor was I worried about Guthrie, wherever she was sleeping, because I knew she'd yell if she needed us. She was old enough to communicate her needs to us and know that we'd respond - which I think means it was an appropriate time for her to be in her own bed, in her own room.

These days? In the kids' room is Guthrie's bed and a crib mattress on the floor for Laithe. Sometimes they request to be put to bed in there together, sometimes they request to be put to bed in our bed. And I'm good with that. My opinion is that they know what they need and location is the only thing in our routine that changes. Laithe has spent a few nights in Guthrie's room - not all night, but a good portion before crawling into our bed. I'm not surprised he's starting this transition much earlier than Guthrie did.

I no longer put a pillow between them though because at 21 months Laithe is really more the threat. Case in point:
I have no idea how long our co-sleeping will last. I'm sure one day it will end and it will be bittersweet. And then we'll stretch out and turn on the tv or leave the light on fully while we read and it'll be less bitter. I will never regret that we've done this with our family though. I think it has helped create an emotional bond we would not otherwise have. Breastfeeding while co-sleeping, well, it goes without saying that it's so much easier - past about 6 months there has been little effort on my part. Although I'm pretty sure you could hook yourself up a nice system for bottle feeding too without much effort. For certain c0-sleeping is not for everyone and I do not believe that you are slighting your child by having them sleep separately from you. For our family though, this works.

Now - time to go get that steak knife out of my bed! Apparently it's dangerous!

****

for good quality research and statistics on co-sleeping i like Dr. Sears - and they have many, many links. for mentoring, and getting ideas when what you're doing isn't working for you i like the forums on mothering.com

*******

Thanks for reading a post in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival. On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the #CosleepCar hashtag.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

***

Emotive Co-Sleeping Campaign - Miriam at Diary of an Unconscious Mother talks about her feelings on Milwaukee’s anti-cosleeping crusade and its latest advertising campaign.

Why Cosleeping has Always been the Right Choice for My Family - Patti at Jazzy Mama shares how lucky she feels to have the privilege of sleeping with her four children.

Cosleeping is a safe, natural and healthy solution parents need to feel good about. - See how Tilly at Silly Blatherings set up a side-car crib configuration to meet her and her families' needs.

Black and White: Race and the Cosleeping Wars - Moorea at Mama Lady: Adventures in Queer Parenting points out the problem of race, class and health when addressing co-sleeping deaths and calls to action better sleep education and breastfeeding support in underprivileged communities.

Reflections on Cosleeping - Jenny at I’m a Full Time Mummy shares her thoughts on cosleeping and pictures of her cosleeping beauties.

Cosleeping and Transitioning to Own Bed - Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine shares her experiences in moving beyond the family bed.

What Works for One Family - Momma Jorje shares why cosleeping is for her and why she feels it is the natural way to go. She also discusses the actual dangers and explores why it may not be for everyone.

Really High Beds, Co-Sleeping Safely, and the Humanity Family Sleeper - Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama gives a quick view of Jennifer’s bed-sharing journey and highlights the Humanity Family Sleeper, something Jennifer could not imagine bed-sharing without.

Crying in Our Family Bed - With such a sweet newborn, why has adding Ailia to the family bed made Dionna at Code Name: Mama cry?

Dear Mama: - Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares a letter from the viewpoint of her youngest son about cosleeping.

Cuddle up, Buttercup! - Nada of The MiniMOMist and her husband Michael have enjoyed cosleeping with their daughter Naomi almost since birth. Nada shares why the phrase "Cuddle up, Buttercup!" has such special significance to her.

Co-Sleeping With A Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler - Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how co-sleeping calls us to trust our inner maternal wisdom and embrace the safety and comfort of the family bed.

Fear instead of Facts: An Opportunity Squandered in Milwaukee - Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction discusses Milwaukee’s missed opportunity to educate on safe cosleeping.

Cosleeping: A Mini-rant and a Lovely Picture - Siobhan at Res Ipsa Loquitor discusses her conversion to cosleeping and rants a little bit about the Milwaukee Health Department anti-cosleeping campaign.

Our Cosleeping Story - Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares her cosleeping story and the many bonus side effects of bedsharing.

Cosleeping can be safe and rewarding Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares how her cosleeping experiences have been good for her family.

Adding one more to the family bed Lauren at Hobo Mama discusses the safety logistics of bed sharing with a new baby and a preschooler.

The Truth About Bedsharing - Dr. Sarah at Parenting Myths and Facts discusses the research into bedsharing and risk - and explains why it is so often misrepresented.

Cosleeping as a parenting survival tool - Melissa V. at Mothers of Change describes how she discovered cosleeping when her first baby was born. Melissa is the editor and a board member for the Canadian birth advocacy group, Mothers of Change.

Dear Delilah - Joella at Fine and Fair writes about her family bed and the process of finding the cosleeping arrangements that work best for her family.

CoSleeping ROCKS! - Melissa at White Noise talks about the evolution of cosleeping in her family.

Safe Sleep is a Choice - Tamara at Pea Wee Baby talks about safe sleep guidelines.

3 Babies Later: The Evolution of our Family Bed - Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment talks about how her family’s cosleeping arrangements evolved as her family grew.

Tender Moments - The Accidental Natural Mama discusses tender cosleeping moments.

Cosleeping Experiences - Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure describes how she ended up co-sleeping with her daughter through necessity, despite having no knowledge of the risks involved and how to minimise them, and wishes more information were made available to help parents co-sleep safely.

The early days of bedsharing - Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares her early memories of bedsharing with her then new born and gets excited as she plans including their new arrival into their sleeping arrangements.

The Joys of Cosleeping in Pictures - Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares pictures of some of her favorite cosleeping moments.

Symbiotic Sleep - Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children discusses how the symbiotic cosleeping relationship benefits not only children but also parents.

Co-sleeping Barriers: What’s Stopping You? - Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she was almost prevented from gaining the benefits of co-sleeping her family currently enjoys.

Co-Sleeping with the Family Humanity Sleeper - Erica at ChildOrganics shares a way to make co-sleeping safe, comfortable and more convenient. Check out her post featuring the Humanity Organic Family Sleeper.

Why We Cosleep - That Mama Gretchen’s husband chimes in on why cosleeping is a benefit to their family.

Adding to the Family Bed - Darah at A Girl Named Gus writes about her co-sleeping journey and what happens when a second child comes along.

A big thank you to all of the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival participants!

Dark Days Challenge Week 2

2011-12-13T23:30:00.003-06:00

It's pouring down rain. And while it does that part of my heart that still belongs to the northwest good, the Iowa portion is miffed. Christmas is so close, isn't this supposed to be snow?

Anyways. In the name of all things cozy our meal for week two was a beef pot roast. An arm roast to be exact, browned and braised with a large red onion that was so pungent I had to open a window after chopping it. Both from the winter market. Also on the table was applesauce from Wesley Acres (our CSA) via the freezer and cream biscuits - the James Beard recipe in The Breakfast Book. And likely the last salad we will eat this year, just a simple lettuce mix. Nothing fancy, just green. No pictures were taken - everything needed to be charged and we were a hungry bunch.

There were two really exciting parts to this meal (my favorite kind of humble meal this time of year). One was that the biscuits were made with my newly arrived local(ish) flour. And second was the new pet that came out of the salad!

First the flour. I've struggled to find a local source for flour, living as we do in the land of inedible corn and soy. Some perusing on the internet a couple weeks ago helped me find Paul's Grains in Laurel, Iowa. In strict practice it is outside of our territory at probably closer to 175 miles away, but I was still excited. I put in a small order knowing we wouldn't make it out to any of their suppliers, not this time of year anyways. My order arrived super fast and the same day as some ordered Christmas presents- is it bad that I was more excited about the flour? I will for sure be putting in a larger order as our budget allows because the products were very nicely milled. We have a deep freeze that can accommodate a good amount so I can easily store it. It'd be a nice field trip to actually pick it up from the farm, but right now I covet my time, so we'll just have to see. The biscuits were yummy- with cream skimmed off our raw milk and dipped in local butter. They were even better the next day for lunch heated slightly with slices of the hard cheddar from the market last week.

So then our new pet. As I was clearing the table I went to put the leftover salad back in the spinner for smoothies later on and ooh- there was a fuzzy caterpillar making his way out of the salad spinner. I'm sure he'd been in for a wild ride! He's now in a jar on the shelf, but given the not so freezing weather I'm going to put him outside tomorrow. Now I have to be honest, my gut reaction was - oh shit that is so gross- there was a caterpillar in our salad!! Which is weird as I spent a good part of the summer pulling caterpillars off plants this summer and had no problem eating the produce of course! For some reason it just seemed so out of context - maybe because it is December? I calmly reminded myself (and John) that it's a good thing we found a happy caterpillar - that means our salad was organic and picked not long ago! I'm just surprised it lasted 4 days in the fridge. I just hope we didn't eat his buddy earlier in the week when I grabbed a handful of greens for smoothies.

Whatever. To all things extra protein! Till next week . . .

the tomten

2011-12-09T10:29:00.006-06:00

Snow!! Our first almost measurable amount!
I went downstairs to make coffee early - only to find there was none. worst snowy-morning discovery ever!- but on my way down had turned on Guthrie's Christmas music and opened her curtains.
On the second playing of Rudolph I heard her feet hit the ground and run over to the window.
(i love being a parent!)

Later she was looking out the window in my room searching for Tomten footprints. She thought she saw some later out the back door but wasn't sure if they were maybe squirrel prints.

You know how there are some books that you cross your fingers your kids will like as much as you do? Yeah, the Tomten book is like that for me. I read it a few years ago for the first time and got it for Guthrie last year. The Tomten is this Swedish little guy who takes care of the farm during winter- reassuring the animals that summer will come again soon and peeking in on the humans. Kids and animals are the only ones who can understand Tomten language, but you can see his footprints to know he's been there. I think she's simultaneously freaked out by a little guy walking around in our house checking on us and thrilled. It's cute.

Last night we were having some crafty time - I'm itching to sew and the only things I have to sew right now are presents for the kids. And seeing as how I sew in the dining room it's an after hours activity only! Anyways, she requested we make a Tomten. I fashioned one from the Mama Roots tutorial, but it was found lacking - she was just not impressed, who knows why. I thought it was adorable. So, I'm searching for something online to inspire me. There are several creepy ones, and several ones that would be eaten by her brother, so I think I might be on my own. I want one where I can replace the beard should I need to. Both kids love playing with roving. I feel like it might become a little more fu manchu, a little less big wooly beard.

I'm also thinking it's almost Christmas and I ordered The Tomten and the Fox for her as a present- it'd be cute if there was a friend to go with it wouldn't it?

There are a few classic books that I'd love to make play sets to go with- and most are our winter books. Maybe after the new year.

Hope you're on the lookout for Tomten prints too! I'm certain he's out and about!

inspirations

2011-12-05T08:24:00.000-06:00

it's for sure the season of fabulous-ness on the internets. i have my usual blogs i peruse - thank you ipod for helping me get some moments of inspiration and 'me time' whenever i need it!- and thought i'd share the ones that i've been falling in love with again:

habit -- i love this blog - and november was all reader submitted, it was fantastic!

the new issue of rhythm of the home came out on the 1st. i've been watching for it for a few weeks now and told john i'm going to need some time this weekend to read! every season it just gets better

my dad introduced me to the yarn harlot and i find this post particularly apt this time of year, in fact i'm thinking about taping it to the mirror in the bathroom for john. at least he will know i'm not alone in completely freaking out every year while trying to finish gifts.

and of course Soule Mama, always a source for beauty and goodness! I'm loving these fabric buckets- how cool would a seasonal version be?

i love the crafty crow- but especially this time of year. did you see their list of handmade presents parents could make their kids? another reason for john and i to dust of Poppy's scroll saw. and there may or may not be a dremel on my wishlist this year.

i'm finding myself looking more and more forward to the weekly post on 3191 miles apart. they have books of their work, but i feel like this season of my life is not the best one for purchasing pretty books.

i could probably go on for days- there is so much good stuff out there. but it's time for me to go get my craft on - and you too! it's that time of year!

Dark Days Challenge Week 1

2011-12-05T07:49:00.004-06:00

I had some technical issues getting this to post yesterday!

So, I had big plans for our first week of the challenge. Totally going to do this awesome breakfast, because it's my favorite meal. I should clarify that. Eating is not my favorite thing to do early in the morning, but breakfast themed food is my favorite.

Guthrie and I got up at 8:30, totally reasonable, and waited for the boys. And waited and waited. And at 10:00 we were hungry.

So, a simple meal of scrambled eggs and toast with butter (Guthrie won't eat any jam for me except our Strawberry Balsamic from this summer. And I'm being stingy with it as we've already gone through 4 jars.) Guthrie requested a few slices of the cheese we'd picked up at the Freight House market the day before - she likes her protein with a side of protein! And it was good. Really good. Here are my sources:
Freight House Farmer's Market for all of it
Butter and Prairie Breeze Cheese from Milton Creamery
Weeds and Seeds bread from the lady selling the cheese and butter
Eggs - I'm not sure about - it was really cold and rainy but he was the last vendor with eggs

I let Guthrie pick out the cheese for the week and man, she's got some good taste in cheese. A nutty hard cheddar. She can be in charge of the cheese anytime - although if it's an option she'll always pick 'spotted'.

Much less glamorous than I had planned, but it was still good. And really, there's just not a lot of room for glamor in this season of my life!

I'm part of the West-Upper Midwest group - check out my peeps!

the friday after thursday risotto

2011-12-02T07:24:00.004-06:00

This week. Meh. It was one of those. When I can say TGIF and mean it you know it's been a long one. The rest of my family is asleep this morning - after a really restless night of us all in one bed - snot abounds - and it's late and I'm just going to let them snore for awhile longer while I dump out my brain and hope.

Last night I just kind of hit my limit. Poor Guthrie. Sweet girl who has all of a sudden grown up by leaps and bounds and maturity(!) had an evening like I have not seen in awhile and after running through my 'settle down and breathe mama or you're going to lose it' mantra approximately 80 times I apparently chose to return her favor of emotionally vomiting all over me. Except it didn't feel like a choice. I was distinctly out of control and I've kind of been all week. Only this morning I feel crappy about it whereas all week? Not so much. Which is why I feel like I hit my peak; self-reflection doesn't often happen in the midst of it all.

And we won't even talk about Laithe. Dude is in that toddler realm, that special time between 18 and 24 months when every day you don't contemplate selling him to the zoo 100 times is a good day. Hoo boy.

This parenting shit is hard. If I could parent in a vacuum it would still be hard.

I decided - after G and I freaked out at each other - to make risotto. It's such a comfort food for our little family. This time I made it with bacon and pumpkin. It was stellar I have to say. The way I make it is the one ladle at a time method, I know there are other ways out there, but this one is the most therapeutic for me. I love that after a day that has lost all it's comforting rhythms I can find my rhythm again in stirring and adding and stirring and adding.

I also find that risotto is a yardstick. No other dish I make requires my presence as constantly and so my household needs to be a certain amount of able-to-fend-for-themselves. There was no risotto when Guthrie was a toddler, there was no risotto during that newborn blur, none when Laithe was learning to walk and could take the baby gate down on his own to climb the stairs. You can see why I sometimes use it as a test to see what season this family is in - at least for the week.

And so, everyone kept themselves mostly busy and I was able to take my 22 minutes and use it to find my center again.

Which is not to say I wasn't cranky and raw for the rest of the evening, because I was, and bedtime in particular was a challenge. But, we still all piled in Guthrie's room and read our chapter of Boxcar Children and everyone eventually fell asleep.

Until like 1:30, but whatever. It was not a shock for Guthrie to climb into our bed crying after such an emotional evening. I can always choose to be thankful for the predictability if nothing else, right?

This morning I got up as the sun was rising I watched it as I made coffee. And enjoyed the hoar frost- which is not something we get here this time of year. In fact it may not be a hoar frost, but it sure looked like it. I was grateful for the quiet and my ability to block out the billion things I feel like I have to do today and realize that really all I need to do is be present to my life today and mindful of my limits.

Happy Friday- I hope you have a beautiful one.

the day before

2011-11-23T16:32:00.002-06:00

I love the day before Thanksgiving. Almost as much as I love Thanksgiving. I'd so much rather have Wednesday than Friday off - and I almost always do, so, yay!

I've spent most of the day puttering in the kitchen and such. Have a lot of baking and stuff to do tonight, but much of the prep work is done.
Our menu? Here you go:

Turkey
Stuffing
Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
Scalloped Potatoes
Sweet Potato Spoon Bread
Corn Casserole
Green Bean Casserole
Roasted Brussels Sprouts
Jello Salad
Cranberry Stuff
Rolls

We'll have some awesome leftovers. I heart leftovers only after a major holiday. The rest of the year I do not heart them one bit.

And for dessert - pumpkin pie with whipped cream for sure and then I think a molasses pecan pie. Sounded interesting so I think I'm going to just go for it.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday filled with laughter and love and awesome leftovers!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

food and such

2011-11-20T13:50:00.000-06:00

I pay $3.50 for a dozen eggs.

Sometimes more.

Generally, you can get conventional eggs for less than half that here.

Generally, I don't share with people how much we pay for eggs because they kind of freak out.

A few years ago I made the decision to slowly start getting as much of our food from people, not grocery stores, as possible. I know, I'm trendy, but hear me out. I kind of hate the term locavore, I think the 100 mile rule can't always apply to rural, and femivore, omg, barf. Except those are the values that I find compelling. Those are the priorities I find center me on a daily basis.

I also find that I need to be careful when I talk about it because I'm white, I'm upper middle class, I'm educated, my kid goes to private school. While I truly believe this journey is one that would have happened regardless of our financial status, I mean I did read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle the year Guthrie started eating solid food, the year I don't think we capped $15,000 in income and John was in grad school. I took full advantage of my farmer's market WIC coupons that summer. But I think it can sound so embarrassingly privileged and arrogant to talk about this stuff if you're not careful.

A couple of weeks ago I missed putting in our CSA order for the week. Oops - and we were out of eggs. So, I contacted another egg seller and she was able to deliver eggs to me at work. Does it get any better than that? I was in the middle of an audit and so asked a co-worker to take care of things if the delivery should come while I was unavailable. Which was awesome. Except then everyone found out how much I pay for eggs. And I was open about it, I'm not ashamed by it at all, just careful. Once everyone got over the sticker shock it opened a dialogue about buying local, about sustainable growing, about salmonella and having actually seen the living conditions of the animals who feed us. One woman asked if they were special occasion eggs and I laughed and said, once you've had local eggs you always want it to be a special occasion.

This summer was my third or fourth in canning and freezing food out of the desire to feed my family rather than something cute to do on a Saturday afternoon. And I love it. Like I said above it seems to ground me firmly in something I don't really have a name for - not one I'll label myself with at least! It feels so good to provide for my family in this manner. I don't know if it's the semi-self sustainability or the working with my hands. Or if it feeds my rebellious spirit to buy raw milk illegally. I'm ok with capitalism when it's responsibly used. When my money goes directly to the people who provide our food. It is just so satisfying for me to be on a first name basis with the people I buy from. I love that they know my kids' names, what I do for a living, our garden's ups and downs.

Winter is always a challenging time of year to eat locally- or it can be - so to keep is in line I signed up for the 5th Annual Dark Days Challenge. The premise is this: Make one meal a week out of entirely local ingredients from November 27 to March 31st. That's it. If all goes as hoped I'll be posting our successes and failures on Sundays. My hope is that we'll get some inspiration from the others who do the challenge - they will also be posting throughout the week.

My additional hope is that it won't be just a load of posts about scrambled eggs and homemade bread and jam- although I'm certain we'll have at least one of those! Our CSA deliveries will end shortly so there will be a lot of eating out of the pantry and heading to the winter farmer's market I think. Which will be challenging - the main market we have here, the one that stays open in winter, has a habit of importing nearly everything. It's a giant pain. You have to really watch their labeling and ask a lot of questions. It's always weird to see a slew of melons out - in February. Am I crazy to think that the farmer's market should be present to serve the actual farmers? That it should serve to build community?

So what have we gotten locally (and organically and sustainably) this year? So far I've found good resources for:
beef
chicken
pork
lamb
apples
apple cider
honey
pears
berries
raw cow's milk
raw goat's milk
eggs
and of course a whole slew of veggies through our CSA and local markets
i'm certain there's more, but i can't remember.

Interested in joining the challenge? Sign up at (not so) Urban Hennery! I look forward to seeing you there!

Winners!

2011-11-10T11:00:00.000-06:00

Thanks for entering the Shutterfly giveaway!

The following people have won - I will do my best to get in touch with them, but if you see your name and haven't heard from me please email!

Congratulations to:

Melissa
Katie
Jun-Nicole

Yay!!

You'll be hearing from me shortly!

new stats

2011-11-09T17:00:00.004-06:00

Blame it on the whole second child thing, or on having a first child that didn't have to go to many well-child check ups because she was such a freaking spaz, but I completely forgot to make an 18 month appointment for Laithe. So, at 20 months 7 days we stopped in to make sure he's on track.

24 lbs and 32 inches tall

Seems pretty on track to me. I think he's only a foot shorter than Guthrie. The Dr. said the only thing he was surprised by was how many teeth he had! And then followed that up with - ok no wonder he's a biter, most kids get a break from the pain, but he clearly hasn't. Which made me feel better - this dr. always does that. We are so very lucky. He also acted kind of offended when he double checked that the only shot we were doing was the DTaP and I got a little defensive and my voice might have gotten a little high pitched and he said, "I know what your plan is and I'm good with it." He's got our back in that dept and laughs at the religious exemption we've had to file at Guthrie's school so that she doesn't have to have extra immunizations due to being in a mixed ages classroom. I'm so grateful for that.

We chatted for awhile and he said, Well you guys are doing a great job. Keep it up and we'll see you after his birthday!

I love appointments like that.

Outside the office though he's talking up a storm. I'm not sure people outside the family would necessarily know what he's saying, but generally we do. He's going through that toddler phase though also. You know the one, when they become tiny dictators where we must bend to their will or suffer the consequences. Every kid does it; mine do it well. He's a good eater, a lovely cuddler and completely idolizes his big sister. He is a busy one, but doesn't need constant interaction or supervision. You're totally thinking about calling DHS aren't you? But hear me out - kid can play with his cars for like an hour. Can look at 10 books in a row and be totally satisfied. I mean when he needs you he needs you, but he's pretty good in those quiet alone spaces too. I love watching him try and figure things out.

Loves:
cars - all cars, but especially red trucks and white unmarked vans. we'll try to curb him of that second one.
dogs
books
yelling
dancing

Hates:
chicken
mushy foods
diaper changes
sharing his buses and cars
leaving anyone, anywhere. Object permanence is a double edged sword I tell you what.

Did I mention he had a little haircut? Just in the front so his hair was out of his mouth. It was getting a little in the way.

Guthrie asked why everyone thinks he's a girl. I told her because assumptions are easy to make and as long as he knows he's a boy and we know he's a boy it doesn't matter what other people think. Similar to Guthrie we're trying to be as gender neutral as possible when it comes to toys, clothes and ideas. For Laithe this is turning out to be a different process than it is/was for Guthrie. Parenting: it'll keep you on your toes for sure.

Giveaway Giveaway!

2011-11-05T12:45:00.004-05:00

*comments closed. winner will be announced 11/10*

SO! Are you ready for my first ever giveaway??

As part of Shutterfly's fantastic "help me with my holiday card problem" gifts I get to give three lucky readers 25 free cards! You can choose any of their cards - last year I did half Christmas cards, half birth announcements to send with the cards.

Like I said before, we could not have been more pleased with the quality of the cards we got last year from Shutterfly, so I'm pretty happy to be able to pass some along to you.

Rules:
- one entry per person
- leave your email address, or another way to get in touch with you should you win
- and I'll use random.org to choose the winners!

Comments close Wednesday night at midnight and I'll announce the winners on Thursday November 10th!

Good luck!! {I'm so excited!}

this moment

2011-11-04T07:25:00.004-05:00

inspired by SouleMama {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

*a little liberty with this moment. Guthrie's teacher asked for a picture to represent each year of Guthrie's life up to her 5th birthday this week. these are what we chose*

tis the season

2011-11-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

October 1st. That was my day to sit and leisurely set about my holiday planning by writing lists in my list book. If even for just an hour. Sipping some coffee among adults. I'm sure there was adult contemporary music playing in the background. Don't mock. It's my daydream, isn't it?

When that passed I decided I would shoot for October 15th. There was still hope for a quiet moment with my lists and daydreams. And now it's November and who am I kidding?

I scratched some things on the back of a receipt while sitting in the pick up line at preschool, blaring Kings of Convenience (Laithe's sleep kryptonite), drinking the same cup of cold coffee I'd been working on for 4 hours. So glamorous.

I am getting some help this year though. Remember last year when Shutterfly did that awesome giveaway for bloggers? Well, they're doing it again! And not only are they supporting my attempts at staying ahead of the game, but they want to support you too! Are you a blogger? Do you want a chance at 25 free cards for this season? Follow this link to register your blog!

I was excited to get the email this year about another opportunity to utilize Shutterfly's card - the quality of last year's prints was awesome and the paper they were on was a good weight. I always have some trepidation about ordering cards online- what if the colors are off? What if it's that crappy photo paper that I can't write on even though I ordered cardstock? Nothing but pleased with Shutterfly's product last year though. Made the freeness even better!

Also, because of the freeness factor no Christmas cards stayed on my dresser all year. I mean there were those ones I found tucked into a knitting book last week, (sorry Nana Loree and Grandpa Hulse and Grandma Rose - you're totally getting multiple cards this year!) they were even stamped. John asked me a few weeks ago after we replaced my kindle and my phone and I had misplaced my credit card if I was always like this. I replied (with much haughtiness) that I had traveled the world alone just like this and I was fine. Thank you very much.

****

This year they have a ton of cute cards to choose from. Once again I am tempted to do Thanksgiving cards you know, given that it's my favorite holiday, but it's already kind of late. Next year guys. In theory. I love this one - I realize it's an invitation, but that's an easy change to make.

So Christmas cards it is, or at least holiday seasonish cards it is! My favorite is the flat stationery card. You can write on the back, it's an excellent weight and the printing is crisp. I'm always a fan of non-traditional colors, but I go back and forth between wanting a multiple picture card like Merriest of Seasons or having just really great photo shown like on Watercolor Joy. I think it will depend on if we get a really great photo over the next couple of weeks. Maybe the weather will cooperate and we'll get a tiny bit of snow- wouldn't that be seasonally appropriate?

I do hope to do a photo book this year though, for the kids for Christmas. Two of my co-workers had daughters get married this summer and both brought in printed photo books of the event. They were so very cool and polished. John's mom put together a photo book of her time in Kenya for Guthrie and it gets pulled out all the time - and sometimes taken over to the neighbors apparently. I think they would like one of our family. This year there is a new way to do the books apparently, a Custom Path, or you can go the traditional Simple Path route. I'm betting it comes down to how much time I've got!

And - as a reward for making it to the end of this super long post! Yay you! Check back here on Saturday for my first ever GIVEAWAY!! Hint: it involves Christmas cards - a whole bunch of them!

Five.

2011-11-01T21:19:00.006-05:00

Happy Happy Birthday my dear Guthrie!

You are five years old today.

That seems impossible in both directions - it seems like just yesterday I found out we were expecting you, but I cannot, for the life of me, seem to remember life without you. In many ways you have defined this family, your brother is certainly also doing the same, but I think there's something about a firstborn. About how the three of us worked hard to create our family.

I keep typing and deleting and retyping and I'm just going to leave it with this:

I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. You've completely cracked my heart open and because of that I can love the other people in my life so much more deeply. Thank you.

I am so very, very proud of the person you are and the person I think you're becoming.

You will change this world, I am certain of it.

Happy Birthday Guthrie

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T14:02:00.005-05:00

We are in the midst of a trick or treating whirlwind to be closely followed by celebrating Guthrie's 5 (!) birthday, prefaced by a wedding with Guthrie as flower girl, sandwiched by grandparents visiting from either end of the family! Ending with a kid party extravaganza.

If we're asleep on the couch when you get here please don't wake us!

Both kids were super excited about their costumes this year. Hearty sigh of relief on my end.

Laithe was the cutest little Superman ever and Guthrie was the sweetest Rapunzel!I think my sewing skills and confidence level were definitely up this year. One late night and a few hours here and there and no potty words were needed! People are always, ugh, it's so much work to hand make costumes, but for me this is something I can give my kids. And while they may not have too many memories of these early years, I have some really great ones. Maybe this is as much for me as it is them.

Have a wonderful and safe and sugar-filled-with-no-meltdowns Halloween!!

this moment

2011-10-07T08:15:00.002-05:00

what? don't you start every morning naked, reading an alphabet book in a cat bed?
shouldn't you?

wip wednesday

2011-10-05T15:40:00.002-05:00

Work in progress: nothin'.

for the first day in a l - o - n - g time i'm taking a true day off on my day off.

i mean, relatively, for a mama to two, for a full time working mama who spent 14 hours at work monday - in another state - and has a ridiculously full week coming up.

tonight i'm going to a movie with work friends. afterwards there might be a drink or two at $4 martini night. this afternoon i read and listened to the kids play with the neighbors. this morning i went out to breakfast with my mom and Laithe after Guthrie went to school.

and there was not a dish done.

there was some floor swept, but you really can't blame me, they're new after all and so shiny.

everything is done in our house, at least that is going to be done by anyone other than us. we've got some finishing work to do, but that will largely be john's work. i will be supportive with apple crisp and ice cream.

i told my friend melissa that i was feeling a bit weepy today. our house has been in flux for so long and now it's done. the checks have all been written, all of the furniture that we're bringing back into the house is put away, it's like i can let out the shaky breath i didn't realize i'd been holding since july 14th.

to say this project(s) has been difficult for our family would possibly be an understatement. we're all craving routine. the children are craving non-tired, non-cranky parents. our marriage is craving some quiet time that doesn't involve a staple gun or paint.

we have a really, really busy month or so and then we'll begin the slow descent into the holidays. which i'm bound and determined to be about the experience only. not about what we should do, or should buy, or should whatever.

i'm so ready to enjoy this fall.

there will be "after" pictures soon - i want to finish putting a couple of things away so it looks like, in theory, this is a house someone could comfortably be living in!

this moment

2011-09-30T06:00:00.001-05:00

more details to come, but it's safe to say that i won't be leaving the house until spring. i didn't think it was possible to love our south facing windows more than i already do, but apparently it is.

2011-09-26T07:08:00.002-05:00

T minus 1 hour until the hardwood floor installation starts.

i could not be more thankful!

like as in i won't have to worry about the old stain the kids pick up on their hands from the floor.

like as in i can throw that nasty rug away!

like as in our whole floor will be one level --- if you've never stepped halfway off subflooring down 3/4 of an inch to old hardwood let me save you the experience - it is unpleasant!

like as in thank goodness i can put an end cap on this that defined the last half of our summer.

this moment

2011-09-25T08:01:00.002-05:00

{almost there!}

2011-09-12T13:12:00.000-05:00

a new ceiling is going up in our kitchen

there is not one shred of attached carpet on our first floor

there is 400 square feet of rolled carpet and pad in the living room though – hours of endless fun

grateful that this weekend was productive but not hectic

I forgot it was Guthrie’s snack day at school

this morning was 80 times more hectic than it could have been

there was still time for a little girl to dance her heart out before breakfast, jazz hands and all

happy the crock pot is bubbling away- in the living room – with tonight’s dinner, the first of a slew of frozen crock pot meals I made up last weekend

feeling great that the bulk of the putting up is done for the season

excited for a field trip this week – four kids in our car – I’m certain it’ll be a blast

ready for fall, the light is changing in my kitchen, so it is on it’s way

thrilled that we can see the light at the end of the tunnel with the house

not as thrilled that it’s a pretty long tunnel – with several hundred linear feet of quarter round lining the way

worky-worky

2011-09-06T00:22:00.006-05:00

Like any good homeowners we took advantage of our three day weekend to work on our house. Because we thought we should put the labor into Labor Day? I'm sorry. It's late.

Since the ceiling guy bailed for the weekend we turned our energies on to things we can control - no, not our children. Saturday my mom and I spent a good portion of the day painting the dining room. This is the best before picture I could find without sifting through all our pics. It went from taupey-pink to sunny yellow. I had mixed feelings about taking down the chair rail, but I'm glad I did. The past owners had an affinity for Sienna Stone and they'd sprayed the chair rail. Which means it was textured in a stone-like fashion and so even if I repainted it it would always be slightly reminiscent of Sienna Stone. After living with a copious amount of Sienna Stone I am sick to death of it. The highlight of the day had to be when I realized I could scrape the Sienna Stone off the outlet covers with a putty knife. So satisfying! Entryway chandelier I'm coming for you next!

So then the dining room looked great for like 12 hours. Even Guthrie - never the biggest fan of anything I choose - liked it the next morning at breakfast. "Mama, I do like your paint, but only when the sun shines on it." Thank goodness they're south facing windows so she won't hate it for most of the day. And I really really like it with the gray we painted in the living room - I guess I never showed you those pictures, did I? Well, we'll do that before and after later on. Yay for thematic blogging!Although the paint did make the carpet look even more dingy and I kept holding up the sample piece of the new floor against the wall. I'm a dork like that.

I haven't showed you a picture of what the floor will be have I? Here's the closest I could find:
I heart it very much.

So then, after a few minutes in our sunny, pristine dining room John tore up the carpet.

It is harder to notice the lovely walls with the mostly unfinished, old, thank goodness we bought new floor because this would have taken a lot of work to save, floors. We thought that was going to be a huge project, but I left John in his flannel pjs with a one foot wide section torn up and ran some errands. When I came home 2 or so hours later it was done. There are still a bunch of staples to take out, but I'm not sure that we really need to if we're putting stuff over it - what do you think?

The entryway floor demo'd super quick- like an hour and a half? And most of that was moving things in and out - the furniture and then the laminate.

So we have one room left to do before the floor guy comes back. Before then though is the ceiling and painting the kitchen. And reassessing the furniture in our living room/entry way. There's been a lot of shifting around and some, hmm, I'd never thought of putting that there going on. Kind of fun, kind of exhausting.

Kind of want my house to be back together sooner rather than later. I'm holding October 1 in my mind, mostly because I love fall and I want to get the fall box out and decorate and get out seasonally appropriate toys for the kids, but only if there is no subflooring.

before and after - bathroom

2011-09-04T10:08:00.006-05:00

Our little bathroom project is coming to a close. There's still all that stuff to do that I wrote about on my last update, however we are mostly done and I know you've just been dying to see pictures.

Here's how it looked before we moved into the house:

I didn't mind the color, but since it was on the ceiling too it was just a little small and dark.

I think she was going for tropical in Iowa.

Then I painted right before I got pregnant with Laithe and I have no pictures.

Then we went along all nicely until the leak. And then we did this:

And then we did this:

See where it gets a little strange next to the hole for the toilet? You can totally see the wood for the kitchen ceiling through it. Awesome.

Then we stopped taking pictures. Because ugh.

So after we put in a new floor, put in a new vanity, put most of the baseboard back on (my least favorite job ever) and hung 2 out of 3 shelves here is our almost finished project:

I'm super happy with it, heck, anything with a floor and a working toilet and sink and shower I'm good with right now. But it just looks really clean and almost spacious. We went with a smaller vanity to make some more room next to the toilet. And with that went one more pink item from our house. If you recall the house was filled with many, many shades of pink when we moved in. The pink counter on the vanity was one of our least favorite pink parts - and it's gone! In favor of white and beadboard. Very clean, very neutral and highly functional (as in you can totally use the toilet when you come over if you want.)

More pics to come soon! We've had a really busy weekend. . .

the tool box threw up all over our house

2011-08-29T22:55:00.003-05:00

Bet you don't have a reciprocating saw on your kitchen counter - behind the peaches and under the bread? That's where we keep ours. It's handy that way.

We're not quite in the home stretch of this remodel. Actually I can't really even see the top of the mountain. There's three big projects; here's where we're at:

Bathroom: 99% done. A little more baseboard. A shelf. Some wood filler and caulk and we're good. Well, I mean if you don't count the heater vent that we are confounded by. Somehow it morphed during the rest of the project and we can't figure out how to put the cover back on.

Kitchen: 10% done. 10% being that scheduling is half the battle. So really, I should say kitchen: 50% as the ceiling guy is showing up early Saturday morning. That list is a little more labor intensive. Ceiling repair. New ceiling fan and pendant light over the sink - that I'm making. Hollar! Wallpaper border removal. Paint. Open shelving on the back wall. I feel like a backsplash is going to have to wait. That's ok. *just kidding. lost the scheduling battle, now we're not sure when the ceiling guy is coming. back to 0%*

Floor: Who knows how to percentage that one. We've done some work. Our pocketbook has done a hefty amount of work. And there's a lot more work to do. Actually, I feel comfortable saying there's a shit ton more work to do. We made the executive decision to refloor the whole first level instead of just the kitchen and entry. There's 702 square feet of Brazilian Redwood sitting in my garage. Someday, relatively soon, it'll be on our floor and there will be no more Pergo/Berber combo. It was totally not what I thought we were going to choose, but we ended up getting a really good deal on it. And it is pretty beautiful, at least the 3x3 foot sample was. And I think it'll be a good choice for our family in this house.

And then, because well, why the heck not? Let's add paint the dining room to the list. That will mean that when this is done we will have what feels like almost an entirely new house. It will mean that within 6 months the only rooms we haven't changed are our bedrooms, the attic, the office, and the laundry room.

pictures to come soon- hopefully after pictures!

this moment

2011-08-27T01:03:00.003-05:00

inspired by SouleMama {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

*so sorry for the poor quality of these photos, but, well, when you have a moment like this you have to grab it!*

clearly we need to have a talk with Laithe about 1. trying to microwave oneself and 2. that maybe he's outgrowing said microwave? at least with the door on?

first day of school, 2011

2011-08-22T22:26:00.004-05:00

And BAM! just like that summer vacation is over.

First day of school went off without a hitch.
It did take some effort to wake everyone up, but they're so very cute!

Everyone dressed by 7:45! Yay Mom!

And ready for pictures on the front porch by 8:15, properly accessorized. A substantial amount happened between 7:45 and 8:15, trust me. This year will be a test in efficiency.

What a difference another year makes. Guthrie started her third year at Quad City Montessori and the second year in the same classroom. She knows about half her class and obviously her beloved teachers. A big hug at the door and a wave to her friends and she was off. And I only teared up for like 5 seconds - ok maybe a couple of minutes, but whatever.

When I picked her up she was exhausted and happy. What more can you ask for?

fast forward

2011-08-17T21:40:00.003-05:00

guthrie got a pre-first day of school haircut this afternoon.

as the stylist lopped off her summer/swimming/sun/sand filled hair i watched my little girl turn into a big girl.

without further ado:

she has been wanting this chin length cut for over a year and i finally relented. she literally clapped while Amanda cut - it was super sweet. and she for sure has inherited her parents' hair - quite a bit was thinned out from the back so it wouldn't be quite so big!

i will be interested to see how much it curls up when we let it air dry- she got her first experience with the straight iron - and of course loved it!

i just can't believe how old she looks.

vacation: all done

2011-08-15T19:33:00.003-05:00

Is it just me or does it seem impossible that summer is (or already has for half our city) winding down?

This went really fast. It probably didn't help that we went from nice "leisurely" summer to - hey let's totally renovate everything a month ago.

A couple of months ago we both put in for this past week off from work and I'm so glad we did. It was perfect timing. And then the week before that we decided that John and I could benefit from a weekend together - just us. So, it kind of felt like we had two vacations back to back. The weekend with together we didn't do a whole lot of exciting stuff. We stayed home - not a hotel room to be found in a 100 mile radius because of the Bix and RAGBRAI and the music festival all happening in the same weekend here. So we stayed home. We watched a lot of tv that didn't involve cartoons or crappy music. We went floor shopping. We ate out. I cleaned house in record time - I forgot how quickly that goes when you don't have someone undoing everything behind you! And we spent time together. And it was good. And we reconnected and laughed a lot.

Then the week leading up to vacation and the actual week of it we, well we did a lot and nothing all at once. Here's a recap

Summer Vacation 2011

one Mississippi Valley fair
30 quarts of peaches canned
one trip to the zoo
one bathroom remodeled
90% of the kitchen wallpaper torn down
one night in a hotel with a pool
the full series of Avatar
one trip to world market
several evening walks
a ride on the ferris wheel with Guthrie, I was so proud of her!
one bad fall for Laithe and John at West Lake (but only after a splendid picnic)
two top incisors for Laithe
hundreds of books read and crafts done
10 lbs of paste tomatoes harvested
a lot of trips to Lowes a lot
one identity thefted (mine!)
4 lemon cucumbers picked
2 flower beds weeded
a few trips to our closing Borders bookstore
and lots of late bedtimes and later breakfasts the next morning

It was a nice and always busy break. Not nearly as much driving this year which was good for us. Lots more hanging out at home - and our house shows it. It's a totally bomb-went-of-and-we-ignored-it disaster. Oh well. I mean, why mop when you're going to rip out your floor soon anyways?? That's just a waste of my precious time.

And pictures? There are precious few. I spent much more time enjoying my kids than taking pictures of them. I think that's ok.

Guthrie starts school next week, so this week is a time of rebuilding schedules and last hurrahs. I think we're in for some really wonderful weather too. Thank goodness! It was a bit too sweaty there for me for awhile.

this moment

2011-08-06T08:40:00.004-05:00

it's too hot to think of a clever title.

2011-08-02T22:57:00.002-05:00

I know everyone is sick to death of the heatwave, but humor me just for a second - it's 11:00 pm and the heat index is 95. Which just means that it's actually only 85, but there's 80% humidity.

It makes you want to sit in the dark buck naked.

And where do you think the other three members of my family are right now? All asleep in the one non-air conditioned room in the house. I don't know what their deal is.

So, anyways.

Last night we had a dinner picnic at a local lake and it was so noticeably cooler out there. I always forget how much heat radiates off the asphalt in the city.

That was the last mention of the weather, I promise.

The entire family is now slightly afraid of the garden. I so deeply underestimated how much things would grow this summer. My planting strategy was based on last summer's crappy weather. At this point I'm needing to tear some stuff out in order access all the plants. When I'm standing between the two raised beds you can't remotely see me from the house. The kids get scared when I'm on the other side of the bed. I don't think they would do well in a jungle. However, I do have green tomatoes by the bushel. I've counted my tomatoes before they've ripened before, so I'm hiding my crossed fingers so as not to tempt fate, but (said in a whisper) I think it's going to be a good harvest. And the green peppers are rocking this year. I've got a good dozen close to harvest. I'm not sure though how you tell when a green pepper is done though - any helpful hints?

On the less jungley side of the garden the sunflowers are in full bloom and just so cheerful! This is the first successful year for sunflowers for me and I'm so happy. Maybe a sunflower house is really a possibility next year.

The inside of the house hasn't changed much, except that we've removed the vanity in the bathroom and torn out a good portion of the floor. In the interest of saving costs we are demo-ing the bathroom ourselves as much as we can.

Can we talk for the moment about how not awesome it is to have the only working toilet be on the third floor. And how equally not awesome it is to not have a sink anywhere near the changing table? It is awesome though that the shower is still somewhat accessible by the adults. The kids are getting spoiled in the jacuzzi tub upstairs - which is pretty much a swimming pool for them. I, however, am not up for a long bath in this weather.

I did like seeing the history of the bathroom as we pried and ripped away. Layers of flooring and wondering who put it there - who is doing what we're doing and picked it out. I wish we knew more of the history of this house.

And then there was that 3/4 inch layer of particle board. Maybe I'm out of turn here, but my gut says it's a bad idea to use my old ikea bookcase as subflooring next to a toilet, even if I am desperate. Call me crazy. So after that we dig around some more and John takes a break and then hears me say - oooh shit. huh. . . He yells - what was that about? Me - well, you should probably just come see this. Apparently like 80 years ago someone needed to access the pipe next to the toilet. Hmm, maybe it was to put in indoor plumbing? And so cut a 6 x 10 inch hole in the original flooring. And then didn't put anything over it. It's likely this was the true cause of the catastrophic leak. Everything gets wonky and leaky and, you know, soaks through the stellar barrier that is particle board, and woosh, and yay there's a hole! The path of least resistance! That's just my guess though. It's also likely that the hole meant that the damage was not as bad upstairs as it could have been.

Give it up for home ownership! Whoop whoop! John and I now feel like we really own this home. You know, because three years of mortgage payments didn't make it sink in.

We've got guys coming - tomorrow the floors, Friday the kitchen ceiling. Both with excellent recommendations, so that helps with the anxiety of all this. It is stressful though. Mostly I want my dining room back. It's our biggest multipurpose room and now it's also full of kitchen stuff - at least until we know when the ceiling will be going in. I realized that I need to be canning soon, so that means hopefully a ceiling between peaches and tomatoes, but no flooring until this is done with. At least on the kitchen end. Crossing my fingers the bathroom will be done soon. I can see why our backyard neighbor took to peeing out his window last winter- it does indeed suck to have to climb stairs in the middle of the night when you need to go - let alone when your kid needs to go too. But, rest assured L & J of next door, we will be done with this project before winter- so you won't be seeing any yellow icicles from our house. (yeah, the backyard guy made some amazing yellow icicles last winter.)

And as a side note, we have homeowners insurance from Travelers and they have been just *awesome* to work with. In fact, except for reimbursements that will have to come at a later date, our case is pretty much closed. Less than 2 weeks from when I called. Pretty darned impressive if you ask me. So very thankful for a good experience with them.

Man, this has been one long - winded post. Yikes.

I know I said I wouldn't talk about the weather, but the heat index is now 89. It's going in the right direction at least. Slowly. . .

this moment

2011-07-22T08:49:00.003-05:00

WIP Wednesday

2011-07-20T08:04:00.002-05:00

Every dang time I'm just floored by this. This whole growing food thing.

Do you think it'll ever get used to it?
How do you go from this little nothing:

To this overgrown, tomatoes taller than me, cucumber completely taking over, monstrosity of green:

I cannot overstate how much I love having the raised beds! Love, love, love it. I can head out early in the morning, pull a few weeds, do some watering, putter, in my work clothes. It's just so easily managed.

And things are looking good!

**you'll have to forgive the low quality of these photos. it was hot. it was 8 in the morning and 85 degrees - without humidity. the 'real feel' -what they call the heat index in these here parts -is 91. awesome. another real feel day of 115!

never a dull moment

2011-07-17T12:58:00.002-05:00

Things might be a bit spotty around her for awhile. We're getting a major kitchen and bath renovation - due to a toilet leak - and it starts tomorrow.

I'm trying really hard to see the positive sides to this. The 'we won't have to pay for that much of it' positive side. The new flooring, the new ceiling, light fixtures, subflooring, all kinds of fun stuff. Fun being the operative word.

And I'm just not feeling it.

I'm certain I will have somewhat of a change of heart once our insurance guy comes up with very firm answers and budgeting stuff.

But, just ugh. I would not have picked this exact moment of our lives - or even of this summer with the heat index to be over 110 for the next 5 days - to do this.

To say that I don't deal all that well with major change would be an understatement. And I'm certain that is what this is.

Guthrie is pretty freaked out by it too.

I'm pretty freaked out by us having to block off half the downstairs while there is no floor so that Laithe doesn't find staples, brads, and tacks, oh my.

And then of course there's the whole, well, while this is being done . . . we've always wanted to replace the carpet in the other side of the house with something else, that would leave only one room of ceiling in downstairs that has a really old, crappy ceiling, wouldn't it be so much easier to paint the kitchen while this is being done and everything is out of that room etc, etc, etc?

For sure at least I'll probably paint the kitchen. The rest of it remains to be seen. We're still very much in need of a new roof this winter (apparently that's the thing to do here - roof in the winter as it's our driest season).

For sure I need to get off the computer and get down to the basement and shove stuff around so there's room for the industrial fans they're going to place down there. Or dehumidifier or whatever. And then I need to clear the kitchen. And do the dishes. And it'd be a good idea I think to prep some stuff for dinner this week since I don't think I'll be spending a lot of time in the kitchen next to the holes in the floor and ceiling.

Any advice? Should we just set up a tiny kitchen in the dining room - coffee pot and toaster at least? How does this work? It's the unknowns that I do so well with!

My dad and stepmom just went through this because of a dishwasher leak (we're such copycats) and went for the gusto and now have a beautiful new kitchen. Ours for sure won't be anywhere near, but I'm trying to hold their before and after pics in my head!

Off to the basement. To hang with the spiders. Gross.

Wish us luck and there will be pictures I'm sure - probably not much else though for who knows how long!

input and output

2011-07-11T18:40:00.001-05:00

no. this is not a post about poo.

i promise.

Summer is always an intense time when you have small kids. I have no idea who coined the phrase 'lazy days of summer', but they must have been referring to that point when you flop yourself on the back porch with a cold beverage out of sheer exhaustion. They must not have had young kids. Or a garden. Or much of anything going on.

This is the time of year, and the time of mothering - the age of one and a bit is proving to be just as taxing as I remember it! - that I depend more heavily on what I read, what I look at, who I talk to, to nourish me emotionally and spiritually. There is so much creative energy involved in parenting - especially in the summer - that I find if I don't keep my "input well" full enough, my output gets cranky, tired, and usually sick. And that's no fun in the summer!

Here's what I've been filling up my soul with recently:

- Mindfulness for Beginners. It's a cd series about mindfulness and helps with beginning the practice of meditation. It has been on my ipod for months and I just marvel at how the timing is always right with this sort of thing. I listened to the first half - a series of talks about mindfulness - over a few days and every dang time I turned it on I got weepy. Total perfect timing.

- an e-class called Calm, Productive, Upbeat Days for Busy Moms by Lisa Byrne. I wasn't going to do this because sometimes these things are kind of blah blah blah make your to-do list and get more sleep blah blah blah. But then I figured I could just turn it off if it sucked -- but it didn't suck. In fact it's really good and I have already implemented some of her suggestions. It's free and you can sign up too! I think they'll be online until early August. One thing though is that she has you write out all the responsibilities you have on a piece of paper. I had a friend once who, right before her divorce calculated up how many loads of laundry she had done over the years and while probably enlightening, was pretty destructive I think to her well being. I'm trying to remember that my page is really full right now because my life is really full - and that it won't always be so. She's got some great ways of thinking about the full time of our lives. Just sign up for it - I don't want to give away all the great advice!

- John brought home a new series to us - The Parasol Protectorate. I'm still on the first one - he's waiting for payday so we can get #4. It is so well written, I'm just loving it.

- my new Elizabeth Zimmerman knitting book bought with a gift certificate from Auntie Teresa for my b-day! I find her writing just so restful. She reminds me of my mother's friend's mothers. Does that make sense? Along with a dose of Tasha Tudor. Yay!

- and then my blog reel of course. But that one's tricky. The second you get overwhelmed or envious or my-their-grass-is-SO-much-greener you must turn the computer off and go find your children because you've hit your input limit - time for some output!

what's been nourishing your spirit lately?

this moment

2011-06-29T23:17:00.002-05:00

bbc

2011-06-28T17:29:00.000-05:00

Guthrie and I were driving back from her annual school physical and the BBC was on in the background. We weren't talking and I thought she was falling asleep when she pipes up:

You know what that man said?

No, what?

He said a police killed someone.

. . . Oh really?

Yeah.

What do you think about that?

Not good.

Yeah, it doesn't sound good.

I mean, the police are the ones who put people in jail. If a police kills someone then who puts the police in jail?

I think we're all still trying to figure that one out Guthrie.

*****

i struggle with shielding my kids from, well, the world. how much is too much information? if we filter too much are we just setting them up for a sheltered existence? one where they're so sheltered they'll never make the choice to uhh, give a shit? if we don't protect well enough will she be the only preschooler in her class talking about police brutality?

*****

Last night Guthrie requested a 'girls only' walk. And so walk we did. For probably an hour or so. The fireflies were out, we picked black eyed susans, there was a breeze to keep many of the mosquitoes at bay, we welcomed a friend who just moved in down the street. It was downright magical. Guthrie danced about in her white dress and flip flops declaring that the fireflies must really love her because they would stay on her hands for an extra long time before flying away.

*****

it's probably as much about balance as anything else isn't it?

what restful looks like

2011-06-26T16:45:00.003-05:00

The parental half of the family is recovering from bronchitis.

Z packs and steroids all around.

Funny thing is that with John you totally know he's sick. Guy cannot stop coughing and sounds like crap and (i mean this in a supportive, hope you get better, kind of way) looks like crap and says, I feel like crap.
Me? I was about 2 seconds away from quitting my job, could not stop screaming at my family, crying at the drop of a hat - burned dinner or ants in the dining room because it was just all too much. Coughing? Like every few hours. Finally when I had some lengthy chest pain I made an appointment. And she was all, well for sure bronchitis, but maybe something more, those are some good crackles you have going on. Gotta start paying attention when I get suddenly unhappy.

So, we're taking it easy this weekend.

We cleaned the house yesterday - it's already a shambles again, but there's a lot less dirt. I did some sewing, puttered around the yard. We made a stab at the attic - sorting baby clothes and the like. Movie watching. Knitting - the gusset in my hand warmers is giving me fits --- why are there holes?? Doing laundry, and googling a new washer and dryer.

There is nothing wrong with our washer and dryer. They're just smaller. When I see Kelly Ripa on the TV bragging about her 50 outfits in one load I want to stab her. We have stackable front loaders which are really nice. And it was just about a month ago when it occurred to me that I could do not one load of laundry a day- but like 3 solely because of the cubic feet issue in the washer. I feel very 'rich white lady' whining about this. I mean, I have a washer and dryer - that should be enough. But the z - pack hasn't completely taken effect so, you know, woe is me.

And really, if I were in the place to be appliance shopping, which I'm not, I'd totally get a new dishwasher. I think ours is from the first generation of dishwashers. Ever.

Tonight we have more laundry (obviously.) and Guthrie needs to clean her room as Auntie Teresa is coming this week! And I'm not remotely ashamed to use that as leverage for her to get her rear in gear and pick up. And hopefully some mindless tv - although John won't let me watch 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' in front of Guthrie. Which I get, but still, it's SO awesome.

Also any tips for the biter? He's actually been grounded from nursing because he will bite after about 30 seconds. I fed a bottle of formula for the first time today- not his first, but my first, and it was weird. And then I let down. I think my body was rebelling. And then I tried nursing him again and he bit me so that was the end of that. It's so obnoxious -- and painful. If I may describe without offending you: nurse nurse nurse, clamp down with all 8 front teeth and pull away. And laugh. I didn't laugh. He laughed. Heartily. I don't know. I don't want to be weaning out of anger, you know? At the same time I feel like I've done everything I feel comfortable doing as a discipline.

Hope you are having a lovely weekend too!

this moment

2011-06-24T11:03:00.002-05:00

wip

2011-06-18T12:45:00.005-05:00

I don't have a lot of crafty going on right now - a pair of handwarmers I've been slowly, slowly picking away at. It's good to knit tiny things in this heat.

I do have a lot of yard going on though.

Every year I'm amazed by this whole growing business. Every year I crow: it's a miracle -- you put a seed in the ground and a plant comes up! How does that happen?

So - here's what we've been working on:

The raised beds are looking good. I had to replant some beans and the small seeds definitely pooled - like I have a group of lettuce, beets, and radishes in their respective areas in a clearly puddle-shaped mass. Our rain has been frequent and torrential - we've been lucky that our only "damage" has been this. The rain barrel is FULL.

Look! Asparagus triumph!! And rhubarb!! I'm happy there's a little bit of permanent in our yard.
Pea pods are being harvested by tiny willing hands. And then barely tasted. They are so sweet! I don't even care that I'm the only one who likes them because that means more for me! And really I'm just glad she's getting to see a full growing cycle in such a short amount of time. She planted all the peas and the biggest patch is right in the middle of the yard. John has been sweetly mowing around it until the season is over.

And the raspberries are looking alright. We shall see how that goes. I spotted the first japanese beetle on my birthday - thanks for that present!

This was also the first year I've really mulched and I'm really glad I did. There's still a lot of weeding to do, but the creeping charlie has been almost manageable in the mulched areas.

I do enjoy this time of 'just growing' in the garden. The anticipation. Although I do have some more peas and basil to gather today if the storm holds off.

this moment

2011-06-17T22:00:00.000-05:00

2011-06-13T08:25:00.004-05:00

right now, i am

thankful for the quiet cup of coffee i got this morning. just me and morning edition as i got breakfast ready

happy that guthrie is feeling oh so much better than she did a few days ago. swimming lessons today!

working my way through this book. slowly, slowly so it sinks into my bones. if for no other reason than because a little girl told me yesterday she wants to be just like me. the weight of that statement fell on my like a ton of bricks.

worried that laithe is still not feeling well -- why does everything start and finish in his lungs? makes this mama so worried!

excited to start our foray into homemade laundry soap today!

thrilled to have another day of sun and fabulous temperatures to dry said laundry in

ambivalent about this week's double number birthday. birthdays are always so weird for me. such a time of looking forward and back. this one i'm focused on looking at this very moment of my life and all the wonder it holds.

ready for the 6 quarts of strawberries that are waiting to turn into more jam and fruit leather. let the harvest et putting up season begin!

inspired by a rhubarb infused vodka created by a dear friend who's post i cannot find right now - maybe it will be up later! it looks very yummy! Oh dear - my reader goofed - or more likely in my exhausted state, I goofed! Rhubarb infused vodka here, by someone I totally haven't met. But doesn't it look yummy? Don't you think we'd be friends? There's a mason jar of it in my cupboard right now - infusing. I'm waiting for John to discover it.

enjoying The Eve Tree written by one of my newly-favorite writers. don't you just love it when you can fall into the language of a book -- and when the plot is good too :)

looking forward to my favorite kind of work week - the three day week!

hope you all have a wonderful week full of light and possibilities!

-format borrowed from the ever-lovely SouleMama -
who just had her 5th baby!
yay babies!

no this moment

2011-06-11T20:57:00.004-05:00

there were no pictures taken this week. what started off as a super fun albeit super hot week turned into one down with strep and one down with incisors. and two tired parents.

it's tough to narrow down one particular highlight of the week so here's a short list:

- fresh strawberries from our CSA! the last of them were eaten this morning as compote on our buckwheat pancakes. yums! more about how thankful I am we joined the CSA this year later.

- a new wading pool to enjoy the heat index in - followed shortly (within a few hours) by 102 degree temps from Guthrie. only her second fever ever that I can remember.

- a trip to Muscatine to see Sally Maver's art exhibit Pocketful of Posies

- wednesday night's fever was coupled with a major storm so thursday saw me going to work early while john stayed home with the kids with no power and limited water. best sick day ever!

- why is it that every time I have signed up for extra days on call a kid gets sick? this week i'm on tues, thurs, fri, sat, and sun and last time i had that many laithe had pneumonia. i think it's crap.

- started needle felting! finally! and it's super fun

- hmm i think that might have been it. busy week, no?

tonight everyone is in bed and the windows are open as we're back to chillier weather. the midwest smells so good in the late spring!

i am looking forward to a more mellow week next week. with less laundry. did you know strep can make you barf? me either. good times.

this moment

2011-06-03T08:18:00.002-05:00

eau de summer

2011-06-01T23:29:00.005-05:00

Tonight was supposed to be bath night. I got distracted - I found some ants and figured they took priority.

As I first kissed Laithe goodnight and then Guthrie I didn't regret for one instant that we didn't get to baths. They'll wake up with the same dirty feet they went to bed with and I doubt either one will notice.

There's this line in The Living by Annie Dillard that I cannot find where the mom smells the back of her kid's neck and I've always loved it. Go read the book. If you don't find it wholly depressing, you will love it. Then you can read the line. Anyways I read the book before I had children, like years and years before Guthrie and wondered what the back of my children's necks would smell like.

They smell like summer.

At least tonight they did. Dirt and growing things. Sweat and popsicles. Running in circles and rough housing. So achingly familiar and so different from each other. If I smelled it every day for the rest of my life it wouldn't be enough.

I love this gig.

dirt everywhere

2011-05-31T05:41:00.002-05:00

When we moved in here 3 years ago we knew eventually we'd put in some raised beds for vegetable gardening. This year was it! I was getting super stressed out about not having the bulk of my veggies in the ground yet, but this spring has been so weird and we've gotten so much rain and late frost that I need to just relax; we'll be fine. I probably need to just relax anyways, but that's a different blog post.

So we (mostly John) made 4 raised beds for 80 square feet of garden space. For now I think this will be plenty, but I would bet that we might put it more at some point. Originally I wasn't going to put a ton of fill dirt into them because our dirt is actually quite good, but we ended up making the beds with 10 inch boards and a little compost might be good, etc.

1600 lbs of dirt and 18 cubic feet of compost later. . .

The only reason I know how much the dirt weighed is because it was written on the package. It was not helpful information to have while we were hauling it into the backyard.

And now, I've got about a third of it planted with the rest hopefully going in by this weekend- maybe Wednesday if the weather is good. I need a bunch of tomatoes and I'm going to try pepper plants again. We shall see how that goes. And before you go and think I've planted a bunch of dead branches they're actually bean and cucumber supports that I fashioned out of tree branches from a tree John cut down earlier this year. I'll be interested to see how they hold up in the wind. While I'm waiting for the vegetable garden to come in at least I have my little herb garden --- it is going a little crazy with all this rain. It smells wonderful though and look -- flowers on the snap peas! Yay!And as a side note - there is indeed dirt absolutely everywhere. Summer has officially come to our little neck of the woods as there seems to be more mud inside my kitchen door than outside it.

first and last 2010-2011

2011-05-29T20:41:00.004-05:00

I hope to keep this tradition going through the years.

Guthrie on her first day of school:

And Guthrie on her last day of school:these pants were not capris a month ago!

Our little girl is not so little anymore. This has been quite a year for her - I say that and immediately think well, which one hasn't been? But really, she had such a good year in school. We are looking forward to a lowkey summer of swimming lessons, some kindernature classes and camping. And she, strangely enough, is looking forward to a break from school. Which I think is really just kind of weird. All I know is that we're already on summer schedule. No one was in bed before 10 last night-- in fact no one had dinner until 9:30! Yay summer!

***
there are many things afoot at our house. painting! vegetable gardens! play kitchens!
so excuse my silence for a few more days as I try to find the advil and the stamina to finish things up!

this moment

2011-05-20T10:33:00.001-05:00

a cesarean birth plan

2011-05-18T16:40:00.000-05:00

Yeah so April is over. And with it the deadlines I had for a few posts on c-sections. Meh, whatever. CAM might be over, but I'm still pretty aware of my c-sections regardless of the month, so I'll just bravely carry on.

When you're pregnant you hear kind of non-stop about birth plans. Some practitioners are in favor of it some, like my first midwife with Guthrie are superstitious about it - she said, "I think that whatever you write on it ends up happening" and some outright refuse to have anything to do with it.

Having written three birth plans - one for Guthrie, two for Laithe - I think they are useful for a number of reasons.
1. it forces you to think about (and prioritize) your preferences. Some believe that there is no such thing as a preference with a birth - you get the baby out. You hope it is healthy. You trust the Expert to do their job. Except that's not really how it is. Within the realm of a "normal, healthy birth" there are an astonishing array of decisions to be made.

2. it allows you space to discuss your preferences with your practitioner(s). You get to read their expression as they read your plan and frequently you learn a lot. A lot. The birth plan is an excellent tool to open a dialogue with those involved in your sacred experience. Because it is a sacred experience - regardless of method, of your level of consciousness, of who is present: when a person comes into this world it is sacred moment. Choose wisely and to the best of your ability who will be with you.

3. it gives you some insurance should your chosen practitioner not be there. Should someone get the flu. Should you get transferred to another care provider or location. I cannot say this enough - do not count on your chosen practitioner(s) to be your only advocate. It's just not good practice. In addition, I would even say do not count on yourself, spouse, partner, or family member to be your only advocate. Shit happens. You may be under general anesthesia and the pediatrician is wondering whether or not your baby gets a vitamin K shot and no one may be there to speak for you. Your own partner may forget you didn't want eye antibiotics because Oh My God he just became a father. It is good to have your desires known by those who will be giving you and your child care and it is good to have them be on a piece of paper.

And most of all because this is your first conscious act of parenting.

The birth plan we wrote for Guthrie was based on the belief that we would be in a hospital, that interventions would likely be suggested, and that we wanted a natural birth. The first birth plan we wrote for Laithe was based on the belief that we would be at home, that we would need people to know what pets we had, and that this would be a vbac. The second birth plan we wrote for Laithe was when we had a 24 hour window between scheduling a cesarean and actually having it.

Preparing for a non-emergent cesarean is a surreal experience - at least it was for me. Both times. Emergency c-sections are becoming more rare. The vast majority of people I speak with had a window between when they were told they would be having a c-section and when it occurred. Some have a few hours, some have a few days, some have years if they are told they will never have the option to birth vaginally.

Once we had the cesarean talk when I was laboring (or not) with Guthrie I believed I had no options; once I was in the operating room I was at the mercy of whoever else was in there - to this day I have no idea who delivered her. I even have my chart and the resident's name is not listed; only her supervisor's. (see why I feel strongly about #3?) I was wrong though.

You have options and a degree of control over:
- who will be with you - how many people can you invite to be there? With Guthrie both my mom and John were there, with Laithe, only John. The benefit to having two people was that my mom was able to stay with me after John went with Guthrie and the mass of peds. Both times we also brought in our camera which was good.

- what is going on in the background. There are frequently radios/cd players in operating rooms. Yeah, it is weird. I'll never forget listening to Taylor Swift while they were stitching me up from Laithe thinking, 'huh. Taylor Swift? really?' But trust me, I'll take Top 40 over the discussion that was going on between anesthesiologists during Guthrie's birth- the one about the MMC the resident was going to have to attend halfway through my surgery because he'd lost someone during surgery not long before. I was so doped up on meds that I couldn't get the words out to ask them to stop. That I was terrified and vulnerable and are you kidding me you're talking about this in front of an awake patient? A patient who's uterus is currently outside of her body? Really? We all watch TV; we all know about these meetings. It's really, really hard when you physically cannot be your own advocate.

- seeing and touching your baby. There are rumors that people have had their baby placed on their chest after a c-section. I was told both times that there wasn't enough room between my chin and the curtain. I did however, the second time know to request that one arm be untied (they velcro you down during surgery in a crucifix position. one arm has the IV in it, but the other is just velcroed.) Once they know how you will react to anesthesia, etc there's no reason you can't have the other arm undone so you can touch your baby. Being able to touch Laithe's little face was awesome.

- sharing the sex of your baby - We didn't find out the sex of either baby prior to birth, so one of our requests was that John announce the baby's sex. It was probably the best part of both births. You know, other than the actual baby.

- who goes with the baby - Once the baby is out s/he is taken to either the NICU, nursery, or your recovery room. As I said before we chose to have John go with the baby both times. It made me feel better that our child was in the care of his/her parent from the get-go. Taylor Swift kept me company. It was ok. On the other hand, I could certainly understand wanting your partner to stay with you because it is scary, there's no two ways about it.

There are other requests that we made that were not because I was having a c-section - like keeping my placenta (everyone asks questions about this one - and actually we forgot Laithe's at the hospital and John had to go back for it - it was really quite funny), having the baby receive cares in your room rather than the nursery, to not have the baby get nourishment from anywhere other than your breastmilk, to not circumcise, to not receive vitamin k or eye antibiotics.

Like I said before, this is one of your first conscious acts of parenting. And just because you know you're going to have a c-section, or know you're going to induced, or know you're going to have a homebirth doesn't mean you shouldn't write one. Because, not to be all doom and gloom, but we in fact do not know. Human life at its most basic, right?

And there was that one lady I met who was scheduled for a repeat c-section and went into labor early and bam had the baby within an hour - too quickly to even get the operating room set up -- and man was she pissed! What is that saying about grass being greener?

Go write your birth plan.

this moment

2011-05-11T22:27:00.003-05:00

* i know there are supposed to be no words, but the book Laithe is "reading" is Melissa Mouse by Maria Claret. It has been on Guthrie's bookcase since forever but we've never read it. A couple months ago (March 20th to be exact) she pulled it out saying, 'I don't remember this book Mama' and we put it aside for bedtime. When we opened it we found the following inscription:

To Darah-
We gave you this book when
you were in the hospital
having your tonsils out!
Love, Mommy & Daddy
3-20-1985

How very, well, I don't know what it is. Kismet or something? To think that 26 years later to the day I would sit down and read that book to my daughter. Oh this universe. It is something isn't it?

87 degrees

2011-05-11T22:08:00.001-05:00

Last Monday the heat was on - in fact I turned it up because I was freezing.

Yesterday it was 93 and today it was 87.

Uh, hi Spring?

Last night dinner was on the back porch and box fans were set up in the windows. Chicken salad sandwiches and popsicles all around. And sweaty kids. I forgot what summer-sweaty toddler is like.

This afternoon was sprinklers in the backyard with the neighborhood kids and books on the back porch. And then I caved and turned on the air conditioning.

And then I cursed because we still haven't gotten ourselves together enough to fix the ducts that would mean air conditioning in our bedroom. And then I had a rhubarb cocktail*.

good night all - there's a box fan calling my name!

*just follow this recipe, i use a little less sugar - -- and add vodka!
excellent celebration of spring!

this moment

2011-05-06T09:25:00.000-05:00

this evening I love

2011-05-04T21:13:00.004-05:00

- sun dried sheets on everyone's beds

- bathtime after a mudpie day and spaghetti evening

- getting caught up on my dishes. we've been on a break. possibly since easter. kind of.

- a girl who slept over 12 hours last night without waking up once. possibly a first in 4.5 years.

- sore shoulders from good garden work

- first batch of sun tea for the year

- a full day of not much with both my kids

this morning i love

2011-05-04T07:43:00.004-05:00

{the neighbor's magnolia tree}

- listening to guthrie snore while i watch birds come to her window birdfeeder

- a whole day of sunshine in front of me with minimal obligations

- washing all our bedding instead of our clothes to take advantage of the sunshine

- the quiet that happens before the chaos that is a weekday morning at our house

- cuddly cats

- hot coffee

hope you're having a lovely morning!

cesarean awareness month

2011-04-26T08:04:00.000-05:00

This month is Cesarean Awareness Month. There are some great resources out there for information on cesareans, preventing them, healing from them, vbac'ing because of them, supporting each other in them. ICAN and ICAN's blog (which is running a kind of 'birth story a day' this month. these women and their stories. goodness.) are awesome.

I want to do a few posts over this next week-seeing as how the month got away from me- about c-sections. I realize I talk about them a lot, but there's a lot of stuff I haven't even touched.

Like making a cesarean birth plan, like making the decision to have an elective repeat cesarean, like taking care of your scar and your body afterwards.

There have been a number of stories in the past few months about the rising rate of c-sections. How more than 1 in 3 women will have a cesarean.

Can I say that again?

How one in three women will have a surgical birth.

Cesarean section is the most common surgery in America.

For all the attention they give to heart disease, cholesterol, erectile dysfunction in this country shouldn't there be more attention given to this?

Women are dying. Children are dying. The United States has the highest maternal mortality rate of all the first world countries. The powers that be are finally linking that to the rise in c-sections.

Yes cesarean is an excellent and useful tool. Yes it can save lives.
No. It should not be this common.

The WHO believes that when you get above a 10-15% c-section rate the negatives will outweigh the positives. I believe that when you get above that number your priorities are shifting.

***

With the cesarean rate being this high I've got some good friends for company. The loneliness and utter isolation I felt - and hear about others feeling - are certainly not for lack of people to talk to. I mean really, if 3 out of 10 of my pregnant friends have babies born by surgery, if it's become the norm - then why do we feel so shitty about it? Except that it's kind of this unspoken thing among mothers. Among women. Can't talk about complicated feelings about my birth experience -- don't want to seem ungrateful, don't want to be one of those women!

There are women I talk to who feel good about their c-sections. Some, who for very, very good reasons, believe they owe their children's and their own lives to it. But for every one positive story I hear, there are at least three people dealing with long-term negative effects. Scars that don't heal correctly and still cause pain 20 years later, cesarean necessitated hysterectomies, flashbacks and nightmares, the inability to trust the medical profession, the feeling of brokenness. The belief that there is something wrong with my body. That I must just not be made to do this.

Where is the breakdown?

Why are we turning these feelings onto ourselves instead of well, the medical profession or even to circumstance or chance? Why are we always just blaming ourselves; our bodies?

Why aren't doctors adding to the consent forms they make you sign that it is likely you'll have massive emotional and possibly physical repercussions from this event for years to come. And that they'll be complex. And that you'll need a support system in place to deal with them or you'll begin to believe you aren't fit to have children. That the self-loathing and grief may get so intense you'll need to seek psychiatric help.

That would be a helpful consent form.

It isn't like I have any answers to these questions. It isn't like even after I've had counseling and amazing support that I don't still have complicated feelings about my cesarean births. I do believe though that until women are open and honest about this the cesarean rate will continue to rise. Not through any fault of our own, but shifts in culture do not start at the top.

They always start with us.

simply ten good things

2011-04-25T09:47:00.005-05:00

inspiration this evening from SouleMama

a girl who is almost becoming lanky
lettuce planted - radishes sprouting
6 bags of mulch spread
a boy who was a newborn last easter holding his own in the egg hunt this easter
an extended family who cherishes our children as much as we do
the snooze button hit at least 4 times this morning - it was so cozy
beans earned by a 4 year old for a no-tear morning
new rainboots
bird, bunny, and squirrel watching while pancakes cook
a solid supply of chocolate

simply ten good things to carry us through the week

hope yours is wonderful

this moment

2011-04-22T07:39:00.003-05:00

{flooding Mississippi river}

wip - the yard edition

2011-04-20T10:56:00.004-05:00

Ok spring, rather, ok Iowa, what the heck? I know I shouldn't be surprised by your fickle self, but dude, you are such a tease. We've had a good handful of days of amazing over 70 degree sunshiny weather and then this weekend Guthrie said, 'mama, why does it have to snow?' Not that it stuck, but meh all the same.

The handful of beautiful days means that I have a good start on my yard this year - unlike last year when I felt like I was playing catch up until I decided to throw in the towel. Newborns and c-sections will do that to you. My garden journal reads something like 'pfft. whatever. the tomatoes were good, the weeds were excellent, and if we don't have a good year for raspberries next year I'm ditching them. bare minimum done for fall cleanup. maybe next year I'll have more, energy, time, something.'

So, this year the front is mostly cleaned out, the back is mostly cleaned out. The larger veggie bed is awaiting some dry days for the installation of a pseud0-raised bed. Not entirely traditional because I'm really just trying to fight the erosion that is taking all my excellent soil. We have lovely soil here. I planted some peas and then covered them for the snow, then appreciated my laziness in not getting the cover taken up when yesterday it hailed for a bit. They're pretty much protected from everything but the directions the wind has been taking has left them well, it's been a bit tornadic back there lately. The raspberries are pruned with the middle row ripped out because they're planted way too closely. The strawberries, well, we will see. It might be that they just need some refresher plants this year.

As Guthrie was coming home the other night she proclaimed to her Amie - look at my bloody heart! Her 'bloody heart' is just beginning to bloom and is always one of the first signs of true spring for our yard.

Last week our seeds from Seed Savers arrived. Most exciting mail I've had since that new bra came a couple months back! I'm making the decision to only grow what I want to this year. Such a novel approach to gardening I know! I let Guthrie choose several of the varieties so we will be having purple carrots, purple beans and purple radishes. Thematic, no?But we also joined a CSA for the season and we are expecting the first delivery of eggs this afternoon. I know! Delivery - like to my front porch! So excited. Some days I love this town. I'm hoping the CSA will mean I can stop shopping for produce at Hyvee and that my trips to the farmers market will be less stressful as I can go just to pick up the extras. It does get stressful with two small children to try and get enough tomatoes to can a decent amount. My biceps are pretty stellar though.

This afternoon we're taking an adventure with my mom to the sky bridge to see the flooding. The sky bridge is like the highlight of Davenport with anyone under the age of 10. Many parents we know use it as the ultimate reward for good behavior. Seeing as how we're going to see flooding, any more planting is on hold until we get some dry days. Then the lettuce and radishes will go in. Guthrie is in charge of the radishes this year. I think it will be exciting for her - and hopefully successful. And maybe this year I will like radishes more. Thank goodness John does.

Oh! I also tried another round of asparagus. Wild asparagus grows here in the most neglected ditches and drains in the country and do you think I can get any to grow in my yard? If it doesn't work this year I will call it quits. Until next year probably where I will dig out another bed I think *might* be more suitable.

One of my goals is to post what we're using our CSA produce for this summer. I think it might make me more accountable or something. We'll see. The first round of non-eggy produce should be arriving in a couple of weeks. I could use some rhubarb soda in my life these days. It's one of my favorites!

So, Iowa. Get it in gear please. We're anxiously awaiting days spent outside rather than in!

4 years

2011-04-09T11:14:00.000-05:00

a little happy anniversary shout out to our little blog here.

4 years and almost 400 posts.

thank you all so much for reading and for your comments! they mean so much!

we came home

2011-04-05T17:11:00.008-05:00

Our lovely vacation is over. Upon her first night back in her bed Guthrie said, "I don't like home so much, I want to go back to the cabin." I agree.

We made the "7" hour trip up to Door County, Wisconsin to stay in a cabin on Lake Michigan. I need to take a moment to brag- they did awesome in the car. Guthrie asked age-appropriately "are we there yet? is this Wisconsin? where is Wisconsin? are we home? are we home not at our home in Davenport, but our home in Wisconsin?" about 10,000 times. We were also treated to about 8,000 renditions of "Grand Old Flag" from backseat. Thanks Nana Loree & Dietah. We owe you one.

But they did so well that while, yes, it was a long day in the car, it wasn't entirely unpleasant - or maybe unpleasant at all.

So just to clarify: yes, we went North on Spring Break. Yes there was snow. And yes, we planned it that way. A guy at work told me he thinks our family is 'so refreshing' for taking this trip. I just wanted some quiet. John wanted time to read and rest. And we wanted to be able to be ourselves on our own schedule. And we didn't want to spend a lot of money. Goals accomplished! We stayed in the cabin below in Gills Rock. At the very top of the 'thumb'. We were about 20 minutes from a town of any size - with anything open during the cold season. It took a bit of planning, but what doesn't these days? Staying some place with a full kitchen is so the way to go for our little family. It made everything so much easier.It was almost kind of desolate - it was so empty of people. We could see the harbor from the living room, but we weren't right on the water. There was a nice front porch and yard. Up the road they were tapping the trees for syrup and down the road were cherry orchards. It's pretty beautiful country. Mornings were spent leisurely breakfasting, reading, napping, knitting, watching movies and making popcorn. Popcorn at 9:30 am? sure! we're on vacation! And enjoying the novelty of --- get this --- a sliding glass door. Yeah, they were completely enamored with it.
Afternoons were more adventurous. We went to town for lunch one day then searched for a beach, played on a snowy playground, made it to a State Park and took a hike. Hike is probably too strenuous a word. We walked down a paved road that was still blocked off for the season even though there was no snow on the road. We went in search of a lighthouse. With two kids - neither of whom wanted to walk. So maybe strenuous was the right word. Thank goodness we had grabbed two slings. We both enjoy wearing our kiddos, but don't find much opportunity to these days. It was nice to be able to for the afternoon. And yeah, they definitely got bigger over the winter. With 22 lbs of Laithe on my front for the walk there and 42 lbs of Guthrie on my back for the return trip, I feel like I earned my dinner.The lighthouse wasn't quite what we expected but it was a fun adventure. And the views were spectacular.
Guthrie and I slipped away from the boys for a shopping trip one afternoon. Diapers, yarn, and coffee. Yeah, well, there's my life in a nutshell now isn't it? We had a nice time exploring. I love it when I can pretty much say yes to all her requests in one afternoon. Can I have juice? Can I pick out some yarn? Will you make me something? Can I have a surprise? Yes, yes, and yes. You are delightful my little one! I enjoy you so much on days like these.
And Laithe, well, I think he mostly enjoyed feeling good (more about that later) and getting all kinds of freedom.
We let him play in the snow until his hands were about frozen and wander slowly all over our neighborhood - we literally saw about 10 cars.
He is getting so big so quickly. He enjoys this life tremendously. We were treated to so many of his deep belly laughs. Not that there weren't some squally bouts - molars coming in and all, but overall he enjoyed himself I think. I was worried about having a woodstove in the cabin, but as his signing has really blossomed in the past few weeks we told him and signed that it was hot twice and he spent the rest of the week telling us it was hot every time he passed by. Smart kid that one.

Vacationing with two kids though? Two ambulatory and ahem, mouthy? kids? We should call these educational trips instead of vacations maybe. We were so excited to get crappy road trip food for the adults that we were 30 minutes down the road before we remembered we're not about to give our toddler beef jerky for dinner and had to stop again and buy a $6 box of graham crackers. Cranky kids? Oh well, then obviously we'll force them into a snow suit and snow boots to go for a walk because we want to go explore. Because that'll totally change the vibe. Change it enough that we discuss never wanting to vacation with kids again. Ever. Diapers? Wipes? I was supposed to bring them for the afternoon out? Ehh.

We all survived and even said we would do it again.

this moment * vacation edition *

2011-04-01T17:15:00.003-05:00

Inspired by SouleMama
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

this moment

2011-03-18T13:38:00.003-05:00

inspired by SouleMama
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

**we took the family to go see the Jackson Pollock exhibition at the Figge a couple weeks ago. I think it had an impact on Guthrie.**

this moment

2011-03-11T13:46:00.000-06:00

One Year Old

2011-03-02T23:21:00.006-06:00

Happy Happy Birthday to our sweet son.

You have brought so much to our family. You're kind of an incredible little guy. So focused on whatever has caught your attention, yet so completely aware of what is going on around you. So sure of yourself and your space. We watch you in a kind of awe.

We love your kisses and cuddles. We love you so very very much.

self portrait

2011-03-01T00:02:00.005-06:00

john got me an ipod touch for christmas. i completely love it. like it's the present i never knew i wanted.
he got it engraved on the back it has my full name and then says "please do not wash me"
for those of you who don't know, back in september i got this amazing phone that i researched etc etc and then within two weeks it got put through the laundry. it was not a good day at our house.

needless to say i have insurance both on the ipod and my crappy used purple blackberry that i mostly hate.

i let guthrie play on my ipod. i think this will probably not end well but as i said, it is insured and she has been, thus far, very good with it. she plays some mean Angry Birds and can find sesame street youtube videos. i don't know how she does that.

tonight i was uploading some of the photos i've taken on it- it has a pretty nice camera on it and some fun features - and putting them on the computer.

i discovered these little gems. see you can make it so that you're taking a picture of your reflection. like a mirror. when i found them i laughed so hard i woke her up in the other room.

there are about 40 of these.

she is going to be so pissed at me someday for this.

a quick note of important things

2011-02-28T17:51:00.001-06:00

Life has been running along at a quick clip here.

Like light speed kind of quick.

Did you know my baby is turning 1 on Wednesday?

Yeah. I know. No idea how that happened.

***

I made reservations this morning for our vacation. Guthrie's spring break is perfectly timed for our need to get away from job/house/life so, we're getting away. We've rented a cabin up on, well, it's near the town of Ellison Bay in Wisconsin, but the house is actually on Hedgehog Harbor.

With a name like that how could it not be awesome?

We still have awhile till we go, but I am so ready. I could leave tomorrow. And come back in May!

****
Laithe is so busy. SO busy. I'm a firm believer in letting my kids have full access to their environment. Within the restrictions of safety of course. We have gates at the bottom and top of the stairs and in front of the laundry/cat box room. I have a latch on one cabinet where we keep cleaning supplies and light bulbs, etc. Free range is how I like my kids. I find I worry about them less in new environments because I've seen how they deal with their own. So, when I was fixing lunch and Laithe grabbed the full box of Crispex (everyone under the age of 5's favorite snack here) and proceeded to dump I had to remind myself that this is him learning. My friend Jun had a rule in her house - the $5 rule. If it was less than $5 she didn't care what her boys did to it. I was there when she didn't care about a full box of Cheerios all over the couch and it was impressive. And I learned a lot. They played and ate and played and ate. And then they vacuumed. I'm not saying it's ok to be wasteful, but sometimes we need to change our notion of waste and our notions of the price of experience. I don't bat an eye at a $20 toy they might play with a few times yet I freak out over a $2.50 box of cereal? Really?

Yeah. So he's into everything. And I remind myself of the above philosophy daily - hourly? There seems to be so much I forgot about having a toddler. About how one day it's ok to lay your crafting on the piano to clear off the table during dinner and then next it's not because someone grew. About how loading and unloading the dishwasher becomes an exercise in patience and grace - or time management. When your alarm goes off at 6:30 know that I'm doing dishes because no one else is awake.

*****
I can feel spring coming on - regardless of the two small winter storms we've had in the past week. All it takes is one 60 degree day and we're all - HOW LONG WILL THE LONGEST WINTER EVER LAST?!
It makes me want to work on our house again. We need to wait to paint until the ground settles. Anyone else have more settling cracks than last year? The potholes have been particularly bad so I guess the City has it much worse. I've seen some cool ideas floating around the internets that I want to figure out how to incorporate into our home.

I cannot wait to get into the backyard. The past two summers I've either been in my first trimester or wearing a newborn on my back and it's not been so conducive to heavy gardening. This also means that when Laithe goes to his 1 year well child he'll get his first vaccination: the DTaP with its tetanus fighting powers. I'm not particularly sold on the D or the P parts of the vaccine especially the pertussis (guilt-inducing commercials be damned) because it's not particularly effective. Rather, I feel my unvaccinated child when faced with pertussis germs (as we all have been in this community) has probably an 85% chance of not getting sick. Roughly. Because that's such an easy estimate to make. The vaccine is only 60-80% effective - much lower than other vaccinations - so I'm confused as to how this is effective. I don't think that the math works by adding all the percentages together and that's now immune he is. Anyways. I'm preaching. And most of that is in response to the aforementioned commercial. Such poor taste. Should be banned.

***
I set Guthrie up with a child's needle, some yarn and fabric in an embroidery hoop and let her go to town. She'd picked out the needle the other day at the fabric store and was excited to use it. I wasn't sure she was enjoying herself, but then I overheard her tell Laithe, "See Laithe? I'm sewing. All by myself."

Later on she told him that when he was four she would show him how to sew if he was interested. She's a good big sister.

Here is her finished product. I'm not sure why she drew on it with highlighter. Mixed media I think. ***

Laithe learned - or taught himself whatever - how to walk backwards today. It is extremely entertaining for all parties involved. How does one learn how to do that?

***

Well. Then. This was a lengthy post about random things was it not?

Hope your week is full of joy!

2011-02-18T23:00:00.000-06:00

big news!

2011-02-16T07:57:00.002-06:00

ok maybe just big news for us but for the 4th time in the past month:

Guthrie is wearing jeans!!!

at her request and with minimal complaints about crotch and waist issues!

maybe we are over the hump of non-jean wearing that has lasted for over a year.

and she looks about 7 years old in them. it's sweet and heartbreaking!

this moment

2011-02-11T10:39:00.000-06:00

multi-level

2011-02-09T22:36:00.000-06:00

Yeah, so we knew this was coming, but still.
Laithe can now climb the stairs with the best of them.
This weekend John put him on the bottom step and he climbed all the way to the top with no prompting. He's pretty thrilled with himself.

We use a wall mounted gate at the top of the stairs and just a pressure mounted one at the bottom. The cats are pretty irritated about all of this. I try and leave the pressure mounted one as just more of a visual barrier with about a 5 inch gap on one side. That didn't so much work today. Laithe crammed his body into that 5 inches and started climbing. Luckily he was pretty vocal about his endeavor. I don't know what we're going to do about the gates. Well, that's not really true at all. We're going to keep working with Laithe on how to get back down the stairs. Guthrie had mastered the stairs by about 19 months - so on Laithe-time he should be good in a couple of weeks and we can just be done with the gate phase. kidding. geez. mostly.

This kid and his physical development has been just crazy.

cleaning seashells

2011-02-08T21:28:00.008-06:00

We've had friends and family close to the seashore these past weeks and they have sent us shells! They're beautiful and just what we need during this cold month where outside time is so limited.
A friend at work shared an activity she did with her boys when they were young and in Montessori school and I tucked it away for one of those bitter cold days.

One of the things that I love about Montessori is the philosophy of a prepared environment. I have to say I've totally lapsed on that since Laithe has been born, but winter is a good time to get back into it. We've got a book shelf in the dining room that is supposed to serve as our version of the prepared environment.

So, this activity is on her shelf right now.

I gathered a bar of soap and a toothbrush (a new one). A bowl of water, towel and basket of shells. And one of our trays. I could write a whole post about the benefit of trays! And I demonstrated the activity in about 5 steps. I used to have to demonstrate a few times, now just once or maybe twice does it.Guthrie went to work scrubbing the sea shells and didn't say a word for about 30 minutes. I eventually told her she needed to put it away and move on to something else as her hands were chapped to begin with. Today she asked to get it out again and I only had to remind her about one aspect of the activity- the rest she remembered on her own. I love how her independence is growing. Sometimes she's my little whirlwind, but it's fun to watch that intensity get focused on a project. Don't you love how she sticks out her tongue!

this moment

2011-02-04T07:16:00.003-06:00

indeed. a blizzard.

2011-02-02T12:25:00.005-06:00

well. 21 inches of snow later. 21 inches of pure powder and 40+ mile an hour winds and holy cow the drifts are something to behold. most of our front yard is knee to thigh deep. john's mom's front door was buried waist high.

it's awesome!

we bundled up this morning to play and dig out our front walk and cars. it was easily the deepest snow i've ever shoveled. easily. like 3 layers with the snow blower.

we gathered snow to make snow ice cream later. yum!

laithe got put in a mei tai on my back and came out to shovel with us. he was good with it until nap time got too close.

i'm hoping for a walk with guthrie later but i'm not sure she'll be interested. hopefully, because tomorrow will probably be too cold to go out as wind chills tonight are in the -15's probably.
so we're hunkered down with coffee and hot chocolate, knitting, watching fantasia, french braiding hair, napping, probably some candyland, i plan on roasting a chicken later. the only thing we're heavily missing is a wood stove. but we've got electricity and heat and 4 wheel drive so we're thankful. john ventured out to check on the moms. got patty somewhat shoveled out and then helped get my mom's car out of the neighbor's garden. she was supposed to go to work last night but couldn't even see the road visibility was so bad.

quite an adventure, but i'm glad we're on this side of it.

hope your day is cozy too!

oh and happy birthday laithe! good day to turn 11 months old!

blizzard.

2011-02-01T19:51:00.004-06:00

i'm blogging in the middle of a blizzard.

this is what the current special weather statement says:

... STRONG BLIZZARD CONTINUES TO RAGE WITH LIFE THREATENING CONDITIONS ACROSS EASTERN IOWA... NORTHWEST ILLINOIS AND NORTHEAST MISSOURI...

my family is getting annoyed with and making fun of me for my total fascination with this.

but, DUDE, it's my first real blizzard. John. i didn't grow up in the midwest where it was all 7 miles in the snow uphill. barefoot. instead it was all, rain again today. for the 30th day in a row. wanna fill some more sandbags?

so bear with me.

it's totally blowing sideways and there is thunder and lightning!
loree you would be totally impressed.

ok going to go watch it rage across our backyard some more!

eccentric

2011-02-01T07:15:00.004-06:00

Last night we're finishing up reading James and the Giant Peach and the author describes one of the characters as having eccentricities. Guthrie immediately asks what that is.

"Well, it's when one person likes to do things that everyone else thinks is a little strange. Like if you grew up and had 20 of the same kind of cat. Or small glass ponies all over your house. People would think that was kind of weird, but you would love it."

This is met with a look of uncertainty.

"Also one could say that if a small girl demanded to sleep with a brush and dryer sheet every night she might be considered eccentric."

Much giggling - as she clutched her brush and dryer sheet closer. She smiles at me and says, "I'm eccentric."

Yes dear, you certainly are.

*****
We're in for some crazy weather - some foot of snow and blizzardy wind and then -15 wind chill. And my favorite - THUNDER SNOW! It's not winter until we've had some thunder snow. I'm predicting a family snow day tomorrow, but we'll see. Wish us luck! We may be headed over to the neighbor's with their secondary heat source!

this moment. kinda late.

2011-01-24T17:56:00.003-06:00

on my mind

2011-01-17T15:59:00.003-06:00

This morning I was telling Guthrie, in an effort to wake her up, about the snow coming down outside and how some of it had landed in her window bird feeder and what in the world does she think the birds will do about that? I go for the monologue method of waking her up most days. It's better than the yelling method.

A few minutes later she's deciding if she wants to go to the bathroom before she gets dressed and says,

Mommy, I've got one thing on my mind this morning.

Oh really? What is it?

In my mind I'm thinking that birds don't really like bird food in the winter.

You think? We seem to refill your bird feeder a lot.

Well, it's just on my mind.

i heart her.

my least favorite

2011-01-12T15:07:00.003-06:00

We're smack in the middle of what is probably my least favorite phase of pre-toddlerhood.
I like to call it:

Shit. I Hope That's a Cheerio.

Everything. Everything is going into Laithe's mouth these days.

It is exhausting. Not only is it exhausting to haul myself over to wherever he has holed himself up to enjoy whatever forbidden snack he's found and do the obligatory finger sweep - which invariably leads to a bite, which may or may not produce whatever he's shoved into his mouth, which, if not, means that 1. he could choke 2. he could be poisoning himself or 3. he could go into anaphylactic shock because he ate something he's allergic to - but we won't even know what it is because dude, have you tried to keep your carpet clean over the holiday season? I'm not even talking about tidy. I'm talking about vacuum and sweep every single day kind of clean and it's not good enough.

So, not only is that aspect of it exhausting, but the anxiety of what he is going to find is exhausting. Pennies! Rocks! Non-toxic though certainly not good for you cleaners! Hair ties! Stitch markers! Any number of small things that Guthrie has seen fit to hoard!

I appreciate that he's exploring his surroundings. I certainly appreciate that he can entertain himself for what seems like hours. I know this is a phase. I am tired of finding things in his poop that should definitely not be there. Like an entire issue of Sports Illustrated I kid you not.

Of course this has inspired certain lifestyle changes - what part of parenting doesn't?- such as vacuuming every day - every other at the very least, not using anything on our sidewalks to de-ice except a shovel and some pickling salt, buying organic expensive! cat food because man are those hard little round pellets tasty or what? And I try to be very calm about it, but it is really hard to stop the reel from playing in your head about what could have happened if you hadn't gotten that out his mouth. And that is going to remain nameless because of the parents and grandparents that read this. We don't need your reels going too.

And while I'm trying to remain grateful for the number of things that we've rescued his digestive system from, I am also trying to find the silver lining. Like, good thing we found out already there's no pesky nut allergy - walnuts or peanuts. Good to know. Or pine needles. Good thing those can be counted as roughage. Dirt clods. Old noodles. As previously stated, a couple of different kinds of cat food. Coffee grounds. Wax Christmas ornaments. Obviously paper. Oh the paper!

I should probably confess that I was the slightest bit uhh judgmental? snooty? about parents who let their kids chew holes in books. Yeah. Should have known that would come back around.
Today is Monday is missing half the spine. And man that is a lot of cardboard to chew through.

He is kind of taking this teething and chewing to a new level- at least for this household, although apparently he is just taking after his Grandpa Dave. We have this old rocking chair that was my Grandpa's then my dad's then mine, now Guthrie and Laithe's. I assumed that the finish had worn off the front of the rockers due to age. My grandparents tell me it was my dad during teething. So, I guess, Laithe is just trying to fill some family shoes? Not only is the finish gone, there are chunks, chunks!, missing.

I should just come out and say this -- Guthrie never did this. Never to this level. Ever. Once a she found a penny and crawled her way over to me with it in her hand and gave it to me like, "Look you slacker parent, you should watch out for things like this because I may be good about it, but down the line, someone else will not. Pay attention!"

I know it'll just be a few more months *hopefully* until he gets past this, or until us saying 'no' actually means something to him. Until then we're trying to rid the house of cardboard. There's nothing like finding your 10 month old laying on the floor gnawing on the edge of a shoebox. Shit. That is definitely not a Cheerio. Until then, pour me a glass of wine and join me in hoping this kid doesn't obstruct his own bowel! Wouldn't that be a party?

this moment

2011-01-07T07:24:00.003-06:00

2010 in photos

2011-01-02T22:31:00.005-06:00

I wanted to do this before the end of the year, but didn't get a chance with all the festivities.January

February (oh my!)

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

it was a good year.
the end.

this moment

2010-12-31T23:00:00.000-06:00

inspired by SouleMama
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

last nap of 2010. she snagged my new grandpa dave made christmas present (which she's been doing a lot of!) and cuddled in for the long haul.

see you in 2011!

the end of 2010

2010-12-31T15:15:00.004-06:00

via Aprille

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

parented two children. i maintain that the second baby was leaps and bounds easier than the first baby but learning how to balance both kids was/is a whole new thing.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i don't think i had any resolutions last year. i am going to make some for this year though. maybe continue working on that life list too.

3. did anyone close to you give birth?

uh, me. duh. and it feels like about 10 other friends. i've started to love watching first time moms, or even moms who want to parent differently this time around figure out how to negotiate motherhood and their new identities.

4. did anyone close to you die?

both of John's grandparents died and i guess because of my job i feel like a lot of people close to me died. hospice will do that to you.

5. what countries did you visit?

haha. haha. we went camping. in iowa. does that count? the travel bug is biting me again and i don't know what we'll do about that. i want to go to a foreign country! with my kids!

6. what would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

a little more sense of calm. a little more rhythm to my every day.

7. what date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

i feel like i should say March 2nd because that's the day Laithe was born, but really, March 1st was much more of an important day for me. etched is not the word. branded? that was the day i figured out that my biggest fear (or at least tangible biggest fear) was going to happen: scheduled/elective repeat c-section. i railed against the universe for a few hours. loudly. and then i allowed myself to experience some grace.

it was a big day. so was the next day.

8. what was your biggest achievement of the year?

see #1.

9. what was your biggest failure?

see #1. only slightly kidding. Man, there just isn't anything like having small children. It will knock you on your ass.

10. did you suffer illness or injury?

abdominal surgery counts, right? that bout of the flu on Guthrie' birthday was pretty crappy though. health-wise this has been a pretty good year for me. i still would like someone to do something about my sinuses though.

11. what was the best thing you bought?
a new kitchen faucet. not even kidding. changed my life.

12. whose behavior merited celebration?

of course Guthrie and Laithe's!

13. whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

that stupid prozac-taking cat. pee everywhere.
also still appalled and depressed about the state of Iowa's elections this year. I am so proud to live in this state, but that was not a proud moment.

14. where did most of your money go?

thanks to a change in legislation John and I were able to do IBR this year and dramatically change our take home income - so i'm happy to say most of our money went to our mortgage and not our student loans!

15. what did you get really, really, really excited about?

being a family of four. it still makes me giddy!

16. what song(s) will always remind you of 2010?
Stars' 'The Night Starts Here'. Guthrie knows all the words and it's so cute to hear her sing to it. Also the first few tracks of whatever Kings of Convenience cd John has on his phone. It will forever remind me of the first few months of Laithe's life as he would always rock him to sleep with it on.

17. compared to this time last year, are you
i. happier or sadder?: very happy. i was very happy this time last year though too. my level of life satisfaction is higher than i ever thought it could be
ii. thinner or fatter?: thinner but less in shape. not a good combo
iii. richer or poorer?: about the same. but richer in my heart! ;)

18. what do you wish you’d done more of?
sitting still and watching. appreciating each moment for exactly what it is. listening instead of talking.

19. what do you wish you’d done less of?
laundry. worrying.

20. how did you spend Christmas?
with family. My immediate and some extended. and I didn't ever get out of my sweats.

22. did you fall in love in 2010?

every damn day.

23. what was your favorite TV program?

modern family.

24. do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
i don't have enough energy to keep my house clean- how could i have the energy to hate somebody?

25. what was the best book you read?
i have no idea, but i read a lot thanks to my librarian husband constantly supplying me with good books. that's one of the nicest things he does for me.

26. what was your greatest musical discovery?

i really liked The Weepies this year.

29. what did you want and get?

baby giggles

30. what did you want and not get?

a home birth.

31. what was your favorite film of this year?

what? they still make movies? huh. i had no idea!

32. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

32. i spent the day with my family. i hearted it.

33. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

see #30. but i've no lack of gratefulness for what actually happened. i would still like to have that happen though- maybe 2012?

34. how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

covered in spit up and drool? occasionally urine and poop? most definitely banana and graham crackers.

35. what kept you sane?

my husband and kids- the very things that make me crazy. and a few well timed trips to Borders doesn't hurt.

36. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

wow. i have no idea what to write here.

37. what political issue stirred you the most?

the mid-term elections here.

38. who did you miss?

i really missed my best friend Melissa. I got to see her shortly after having Laithe and it was wonderful but so very brief. add her to the list of what keeps me sane! i never thought we wouldn't be raising our kids together and going camping together and pawning our kids off on our husbands together so we can go out. but even though we're not doing those things I still feel so supported by her. I just wish it wasn't from 2000 miles away.

39. who was the best new person you met?

i met some incredible people through work this year. HIPAA won't let me share any of it!

40. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:

that you can meet life head on and not only survive but find joy and gratefulness in it.

41. quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

'let the wild rumpus start'
i realize that's not a song lyric per say, but there's been a lot of the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are in our house this year. this fits perfectly.

in-between

2010-12-28T11:12:00.010-06:00

We're in that wonderful in-between holidays week here. A few weeks ago I'd decided that since no one else in my department was taking time off this week I would. Good choice!

The Christmas decorations are half put away, I've got so much laundry to do, there are toys all over the house, and mostly I'm just flitting from one project to another without much care if they get done. I have to go into the office for one day this week and then I'm on call over the weekend, but in theory, I could have 9 days off almost in a row.

Much needed.

And now for some pictures of what I declared to be the best Christmas EVER.

And not just because of the 8 inches of snow that fell over Christmas Eve. Even when we got stuck for 45 minutes it didn't really lessen the beauty. For certain this is the whitest Christmas I've ever been it.This year Guthrie picked out her and her brother's clothes for Christmas Eve. She definitely errs on the side of black tie when able! Sometimes when we reserve clothes for a special occasion when said occasion comes she won't wear the clothes. Not so this time. She was SO excited. We even curled her hair. And little Laithe with his clip on tie and black corduroy blazer (I thought his puppy dog knitted cap completed the prep school look). They looked sharp.Well, I would have never picked it out for him but I'm so glad Guthrie did. For herself she chose a black dress with a velvetish top and black dots on the many layered skirt. Worn with silver sparkly tights and red sparkly shoes - of course! And then she told us we had to wear black too. I guess it was the color of the evening. I'm betting that we'll be the under dressed ones at many an event in the future.

My big plan was to have beautiful pics of the family under the Christmas tree. Yeah. That totally worked. My favorite pictures with kids are the ones where it's so obvious that the chaos is barely being held at bay.Our Christmas Eve is traditionally spent visiting the Grandmothers and opening gifts with them. This year we had the special treat of a Grandfather in town. Pop Pop (John's dad) came over for the holidays and it was great to see him. It's been a tough year for the family - losing both of Pop Pop's parents within 8 months of each other. It was good to have joy and little kid laughter about.Christmas morning was a blur of declarations like "I will remember what Santa brought me for FOREVER. I LOVE SANTA." And discussions like, "huh, I didn't think we got the kids that much stuff for Christmas. Where are we going to put all this?" And just general happiness. John cleaned our walkways of the 8 inches of new snow with his new snow blower (which looks a lot like a vacuum) and I reveled in having to only make the ham, mashed potatoes, and dessert for Christmas dinner. We'll talk gifts more in the next few days. I need to get some photos.
The afternoon was spent with Grandparents and new toys. It was a nice lazy kind of day. I didn't even get out of my sweat pants.
And so now I guess it's over. I always hated the day after Christmas when I was little, but I love it now. And this year I'm loving the several days after Christmas even more!Hope you had a wonderful holiday!
*** OH! Biggest news of Christmas! Almost forgot! Laithe surprised us all and took his first steps the day before Christmas Eve! Walking 9 month olds are a sight to behold!***

this moment

2010-12-24T07:00:00.000-06:00

this moment. kinda late.

2010-12-22T20:58:00.002-06:00

inspired by SouleMama
{this moment} - A "Friday" ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

first snow fall of the winter

2010-12-10T23:23:00.005-06:00

We had our first snow of the season this past weekend. I'm slow getting pictures posted- so much going on around here these days!

Of course Guthrie and I traipsed outside for a good while. The boys took a cozy nap.

This is the first winter Guthrie has actually really enjoyed the snow. Like really, really enjoyed it. So, I'm hoping for some serious snow because we've never even made a snowman with her.

Once we finished shoveling the sidewalk I suggested she just keep on shoveling herself down to the Coffee Hound.

She totally went for it.
It's totally only a block and a half. Don't get all child labor on me.

Hot chocolate and latte rewards ensued. It was sweet seeing her little shovel track on the way home.

A little less sweet, though no less humorous was the absolute fit she threw about her snow pants. More precisely the crotch of her snow pants. And I thought jean fits were bad! Girl hasn't worn jeans in at least a year. They, and I quote, are not working out for her. Needless to say amongst the kicking and screaming on the floor, the likes of which we haven't seen in awhile, the phrase "THIS IS NOT WORKING OUT FOR ME" was uttered at least 50 million times. Not even joking.

In fact I feel fairly comfortable saying that we hear that phrase on a daily basis.
Apparently a lot of things are not working out for Guthrie. Socks, zippers, bread folded crookedily (sic) vegetables, toothpaste tubes, challenging toys. We did teach her that what she is doing is called being shrill as things not working out for you demand a certain volume and tone. This has diffused the situation on many occasions. I mean how can you be irritated beyond belief when someone under 4 feet tall screams about mismatched buttons "THIS IS NOT WORKING OUT FOR ME" and then in a totally normal voice says, "that's called being shrill. I am being shrill right now. did you like it?"

I digress.

Shrilly and I had fun. We came in and stayed warm the rest of the day. Then we kind of had to stay in for several more days because of the wind chill. Tomorrow we have a blizzard watch.

We had a lovely autumn this year. Makes the sudden move into winter a little hard to stomach. It's like capital W winter around here. We usually don't do this until January.

Guthrie and I have a little getaway coming up this weekend -more about it after we get home probably. I am determined not to let -30 windchill impact our plans! It's our first mother-daughter pre-Christmas trip. I am very excited.

hope it's a little warmer where you are!

this moment

2010-12-10T23:20:00.003-06:00

a few favorite things

2010-12-04T16:33:00.000-06:00

We're having a snow day here! Our first snowfall of the year and it's been met appropriately - with much playing indoors and out.
I'm catching up on all things online - neglected emails, christmas shopping, those sorts of things. It's been a whirlwind of a week. Another one with long, long days of work that translate to bigger paychecks, but less time with family. Not my idea of what is important this time of the year. Funny how that works though.

A few things that are getting me through though:

- listening to Laithe and Guthrie play both with and near each other. They make each other laugh. It fills my heart up to the brim.

- handmade Christmas stuff. the elves are working away- the elves being my hands!

- i'm loving this blog Habit right now. so much simple beauty.

- the snow outside. i love how it hushes the neighborhood.

- the big tubs of decorations and joy sitting in our basement waiting to come upstairs this evening. a Christmas tree is in our near future I think!

hope your weekend is full of good and relaxation and the people most important to you!

this moment

2010-12-04T09:10:00.005-06:00

inspired by SouleMama
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

he's my moment this week - you know why? because he turned 9 months old. we're quickly approaching that 'more time outside my body than inside' line. goodness.

this moment

2010-11-29T21:05:00.003-06:00

we're enjoying great grandma bump's old smith-corona. it provided mama some good 'getting things done' time before thanksgiving!

Christmas Cards . . . this year I promise!

2010-11-21T11:58:00.001-06:00

Oh those Christmas Cards. Pesky little things aren't they? I love them so much and I love working on them and somehow, almost every year a project that should take a couple of afternoons - or a week at the most- to complete turns into weeks on end, turns into a giant Christmas card shaped monkey on my back.

Did anyone get those really cute handmade Christmas Tree cards from last year? Oh? No? Is that because they sit (stamped) on my dresser right now?
Still sitting there.
Stamped!
Addressed!

Not even joking.

For a YEAR.

Now, granted I did have a baby. And we were waiting for John to complete the yearly Christmas card, but still.

Monkey. On. My. Back.
And so now you know why I didn't even attempt to do birth announcements for poor little Laithe.

This year will be different! This year there's a wonderful opportunity from Shutterfly for bloggers to get 50 free photo cards! Totally taking advantage of that. Because this year we will be sending out cards. With pictures! Because our family grew and as I keep telling John in this digital age of blogging and facebook and all things internets I think it's so great to get something in my actual mailbox. Something tangible and festive. I do not want Christmas cards to go the way of the pen pal.

And now for possibly the funnest part - we have choices to make.

I want our Christmas cards to kind of tell the story of our year. Obviously that means that there will be more than one picture.
I really like these ones. But we'll be a little less JCrew a lot more, lucky if we don't have drool or spit up on us and if no one has food in their hair. I always like Happy Holidays sentiments. There's a lot to celebrate this time of year for many weeks- not just one day.

I like this one a lot too. Maybe it's because their family looks a little more like ours. Isn't that the silliest reason to like a card? I very much like the layout though.And the simple wishes.

My original thought though was to do Thanksgiving Cards. Doesn't that seem like it would solve my whole problem? I'd do the cards before things even started to get hectic.
And as anyone knows who reads this blog, or knows me because I proclaim it to the high heavens every year - Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday! Most favorite ever. A holiday all about gratefulness and food and gathering? What is not to like? Every year My Favorite Holiday gets eclipsed by Christmas just a little bit more. Can't we have just a few more days of fall? A few more days of giving thanks before the stress comes? A few more days of bounty before we start to worry about how we will afford Christmas this year? I know that Christmas is supposed to be more about giving than receiving, but well, sometimes I gotta think- good luck with that! Have you watched saturday morning cartoons lately? The ads in between are heinous. I mean don't get me wrong, I do love me some Christmas because there is that whole other side to it, but really, as far as holidays go, Thanksgiving is where it's at for me.

So my thought for next year: celebrate what I love celebrating. I really like these little We Are Thankful cards. Mostly because we have so very much to be thankful for.

So thanks to Shutterfly you can totally expect something awesome in your actual mailbox and not 1.online or 2. something that sits on my dresser for a year slightly unfinished.

Yay!

And more to come about the other awesome stuff at Shutterfly that I want to take advantage of this year.

this moment

2010-11-19T07:59:00.003-06:00

this moment

2010-11-12T13:45:00.003-06:00

little convos

2010-11-09T20:33:00.003-06:00

Guthrie: Here's a present for you!

Me: Oh thank you! Thank you for the baby oil wrapped in a scarf.

G: Mom. It's a diamond ring with powers. Real powers.

M: Like the power to get you to go to bed early?

G: Not that kind of power. I roll my eyes at you mom. (eye roll)

a girl named gus

thursday

monday monday

2012. goodness.

holiday outtakes

big boy haircut

advent

Dark Days Challenge Week 3

four in the bed

Dark Days Challenge Week 2

the tomten

inspirations

Dark Days Challenge Week 1

the friday after thursday risotto

the day before

food and such

Winners!

new stats

Giveaway Giveaway!

this moment

tis the season

Five.

Happy Halloween!

this moment

wip wednesday

this moment

this moment

{{right now}}

worky-worky

before and after - bathroom

the tool box threw up all over our house

this moment

first day of school, 2011

fast forward

vacation: all done

this moment

it's too hot to think of a clever title.

this moment

WIP Wednesday

never a dull moment

input and output

this moment

bbc

what restful looks like

this moment

wip

this moment

{{right now}}

no this moment

this moment

eau de summer

dirt everywhere

first and last 2010-2011

this moment

a cesarean birth plan

this moment

87 degrees

this moment

this evening I love

this morning i love

cesarean awareness month

simply ten good things

this moment

wip - the yard edition

4 years

we came home

this moment * vacation edition *

this moment

this moment

One Year Old

self portrait

a quick note of important things

big news!

this moment

multi-level

cleaning seashells

this moment

indeed. a blizzard.

blizzard.

eccentric